You can't support me all my life, why do you spoil me so much since I was a child (I hope every parent will think deeply)
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
I wonder if my parents have found such a pattern.
when we were young, our parents preferred us and wanted to protect us from all the wind and rain.
but when we grow up, we blame our parents and turn us into flowers in the greenhouse.
the seedlings in the greenhouse cannot grow into towering trees, and the ponies in the courtyard cannot practice thousands of miles.
it is not until we become parents that we realize that to spoil our children is to destroy them.
01
every child is conceived by the mother in October and places the greatest expectations of his father in this life.
it can be said that all parents will regard their children as treasures, holding them in their hands for fear of falling, and holding them in their mouths for fear of melting.
so, we often do things like this:
when the child falls and meets it, the parents blame the table and all kinds of objects first.
when the child made a mistake, the parents immediately gave him a reason and an excuse.
if it's not the child's fault, it's the parents' fault.
the life that parents give their children is either born without education or upbringing, nor is it right to hold him carefully in their arms.
but to let the child know the world and learn all kinds of skills, so that he can survive and develop independently.
if you don't let your child fall, he won't know what pain is, let alone get up by himself after falling.
so that many years later, he was so hit by reality that he never recovered, went home and continued to gnaw on his old age.
if you don't let your child admit his mistakes and correct them, he will make mistakes again and again, and even cause irreparable mistakes.
Don't wait for him to commit a crime and go to prison before it's too late to regret and blame yourself for not having a good upbringing.
sometimes, it is not that children are not sensible, but that we do not give children a chance to be sensible.
to educate children, doting is a big taboo.
many roads in life can only be taken by the child, and the excessive indulgence of parents will make the child lose the best opportunity for learning and promotion.
02
the importance of family education is to educate the child so that he can live his life better.
if he doesn't teach at all, he will look like he doesn't even like it.
many families have several children, the first are daughters, and the last one is looking forward to a son.
parents spoil this son to heaven. They don't have to do housework, study in no hurry, eat well and dress well.
suffer a little bit, such as writing more questions, reciting more texts and writing more exercises, he yells "can't stand it", and his parents want to do it for him directly.
"too hard", "he is too young to do so much", "he is still a child".
if you don't let your child suffer, the world will make him suffer.
I have a classmate who has not been in touch for many years and suddenly asks me to borrow money.
I remember that his grandparents spoiled him very much. at that time, his parents were working outside, and their schoolbags were carried by their grandparents every day, while he lay on his grandfather's back and refused to walk.
the two sisters in the family are also very protective of him. Every time he has an accident, he relies on his sister to apologize to others and beg for mercy.
listen to him, he doesn't have a real job now. He relies on his sister for help every month. When he is short of money, he borrows from others, not much, only 1,000 yuan.
I think you can imagine how bad it is for a man who doesn't even have a thousand yuan.
Why there are "second ancestors" and "black sheep" are all caused by the parents' over-indulgence and unwillingness to let their children suffer hardships.
doting will only harm the child.
Education without suffering is harmful.
the so-called "enduring hardship" is not intended to disturb the child, but to awaken the child's inner needs and motivation and exercise his ability and will to compete with the world.
03
A few days ago, I watched a documentary called the Story of Simba, which recorded the experience of a father taking his son Simba to the third pole of the earth, the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.
in the course of filming, Simba has to climb snow-capped mountains and cross rapids, including dangers and challenges, but Simba is happy to try.
once he climbed a snowy mountain. When he climbed to an altitude of four or five kilometers, the slope was very steep, cold, rainy and foggy. Simba cried and even said he wanted to give up, but he persisted until he reached the top.
such a brave child is inseparable from his father's education from childhood.
Simba's father has taken his son to the South and North Pole, traveled to more than 30 countries, and experienced countless scenery.
in this childhood experience, Simba's sports ability is very strong, and his vitality is also very strong. In fact, he is ready for every difficulty and challenge.
the vitality of a child is not inborn, but is constantly trained and cultivated.
A child who is always spoiled and spoiled, his body does not get exercise, and his will is loosening day by day. Over time, he became useless.
parents can't let their children live comfortably from an early age. Everyone knows that they are lazy in the first half of their life and pay it back desperately in the second half of their life.
sometimes, it is true love and responsibility to let children suffer a little.
like the famous Japanese table tennis player Ai Fukuhara, she began to practice at the age of 4 and was accompanied by her mother every day.
later, in order to let her daughter receive more professional and systematic training, Ai Fukuhara's mother ruthlessly sent her daughter to China to let her grow up rapidly in a foreign country.
it can be said that without the ruthlessness of Ai Fukuhara's mother, there would be no Ai Fukuhara's achievements today.
the more you love your child, the more you need to exercise.It's okay to hone your children and suffer a little bitter. this is the price that must be paid for growing up.
04
all parents should remember one thing: the child is your child, but not your child.
he is an independent individual. He has his own life. One day, he will leave our protection and go out alone.
We can protect him for a while, but not for the rest of his life. Good education is better than all spoiling, spoiling and indulgence.
there is an old saying in China: small losses do not suffer big losses, and small hardships do not eat big hardships.
when children are young, it is a good thing to be able to experience more things, eat more pain, and encounter more setbacks.
Life will exercise the child's ability, pain will hone the child's mind, setbacks will let the child understand that life is not satisfactory, and what he can do well is to work hard.
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Let the child feel the sufferings and difficulties of the world from an early age, and he will face the life with crisis more bravely.
the so-called "danger" is a risk, and the so-called "opportunity" is an opportunity.
only those children who are independent from childhood, are not afraid of hardships, confident and brave, can turn "danger" into "opportunity" and counterattack life.
Fostering children's hard-working spirit from an early age is the foundation of cultivating children's life when they grow up.
parents are the children's first teachers, and the family is the children's first school.
parents should make good use of their identity and make good use of this class to teach their children the first lesson in life.
in the process of educating our children, we will encounter one problem after another, not as an obstacle, but as an opportunity to grow up with our child.
the best relationship between parents and children is to achieve each other.
there is no foolproof life, only self-growth that both sides never give up.