Two signs of a growing pattern of one person

01

first let's talk about two little things that happened to me and the two leaders.

first thing, I once went to the organization to investigate with a leader.

on my way out of the hotel in the morning, I randomly found a roadside stall for breakfast.

Breakfast stalls, you know, people come and go, one wave of chaos adds up to another, and the service basically depends on self-help.

I went to line up to buy breakfast tickets, and the leader went to find a seat.

he saw a table, and when it was empty, he put the dirty cutlery on it into the sink.

he had just sat for a while when he saw a man with a cigarette in his ear saying something to him.

I hurried over. It turned out that the man said that he had not finished eating, and we took him away. I was very upset.

I said, "then I'll buy you another one, and you keep eating."

he said he was not in the mood to eat, let's give him cash directly, 100 yuan!

I said, are you kidding?

if you order everything in the store, you can't spend it all!

while we were arguing, the leader quickly opened his briefcase, pulled out a bill of 100 yuan, and handed it to each other.

so refreshing that he surprised the other side a little, he was stupefied for a moment, then he grabbed the money, smiled maliciously at me, and left with a slap on his ass.

I was so angry that I was about to say something more, but the leader waved to me impatiently, meaning that I should go to the queue quickly, keep my head down and begin to reply to my email.

on the way, I grumbled slightly. It was clearly a bad person who was deliberately blackmailing us. I also saw that everything in the tableware had been eaten clean at that time.

the leader interrupted me. I thought he was going to tell me something about good mindset, tolerance and so on, but he said, "Oh, what's important, you know?" By the way, have you finished the report I asked you to write last time? "

that sucker doesn't seem to have appeared in his life.

02

about another leader.

on a business trip, the local agency invited us to dinner in the evening. In the middle of the meal, we were suddenly informed by our superiors that an emergency had occurred. Let's quickly report the response measures.

so we are going to rush back to the hotel to discuss the content of the report.

it was a thrilling day. On the national highway, the driver hit a stone pier and the front of the car was so sunken that the fire could not be caught.

We were so frightened that the leader looked down and said, "the damage is a little serious. It looks like we have to call for help."

so, let the driver contact the rescue, get on the car and say, "Let's not be idle, let's discuss it quickly."...

it was the height of summer, there was no fire, there was no air conditioning, the car was like a stuffy can, the leader was fat, and after a while, his white shirt was crystal clear.

I couldn't stand it. When I got out of the car, it was dark outside. The leader's secretary took a cell phone flashlight. I took notes and discussed with the leader, and from time to time I had to drive away a large number of mosquitoes by hand.

waited for about 40 minutes, and finally arrived at the rescue vehicle.

during this period, the leader showed great restraint, without a word of complaint, but silently wiped his sweat with a paper towel, and his two mouths kept colliding with various opinions.

it was a bit inappropriate to say that he restrained himself, because he gave me the impression that the accident did not happen at all, and that he was just discussing it with us under normal circumstances.

that crap doesn't seem to exist to him at all.

03

We often say that people should have a pattern, but what is called a pattern?

there are many answers. For me, the best explanation is:

first tell me why you don't argue with bad people.

first of all, if you argue with the bad guys, you will lose nine out of ten.

I wrote a short article earlier that after being accused of jumping the queue and being accused by two Hong Kong girls at Hong Kong Disneyland, one of them cursed the two girls with extremely vicious language.

in that article, I omitted a detail. In fact, I stood up and spoke for the girl, but it was very humiliating.

the aunt said that the reason why I helped the voice was that I took a fancy to the girl's beauty and described it with a nose and eyes:

"you boy, you peeked at that girl's chest many times, and you thought I didn't see it."

as a trainer and university debate champion, I actually lost my temper that day, because if the entanglement went on, I could only say that I didn't read it. The aunt would say that you just did, and I said where did I look?

Auntie will also say, you obviously saw it, but also swallowed saliva.

this kind of making something out of nothing often makes you not clean. If you want to fight back, you have no choice but to fight violence, accusing the aunt of peeking at my chest.

but if so, wouldn't I be reduced to be like her?

this is not what I want, so I can only swallow the bitter water silently.

so why do you lose nine out of ten with the bad guys?

because the bad guy has no bottom line, he will also pull you into this battlefield with no bottom line.

if you want the bottom line, lose the war, no bottom line, win or lose is unknown, but at least you lose the bottom line first.

as Nietzsche said in the other side of good and Evil:

therefore, if you argue with bad people, you will probably end up losing.

second point, you can't change the world, nor can you change bad people.

many responsible people in the world hope to maintain social morality and change other people's bad habits, but they often backfire.

the online writer is smooth, telling the story of his father's stroke.

his father, an old member of the Communist Party, used toResponsible for the work of the Party and the masses, just retired at home.

Don has a chivalrous heart and likes to mind his own business.

once, I saw a car parked on the sidewalk of the residential area. due to the narrow sidewalk, it was very inconvenient for the neighbors passing by.

when he saw a young man still sitting in the car, the Don went over to negotiate.

but despite the Don's painstaking efforts, the young man remained motionless. Later, the young man could not be bothered.

"Old man, go away, you are busy, aren't you?"

two days later, Don had a stroke and said:

there is a saying on the Internet, "never reason with silly X". Although the words are rough, they are not rough.

because suckers and idiots come from another parallel universe, their values and principles are completely different from ours. You can't educate them, but you will suffer from them.

as Haruki Murakami said:

so you can't change bad people, if they can be changed, they won't be called bad people.

just like Karen Mok in "the confused Boy," he advised the missionary father not to mobilize the missionaries to believe in religion. This will not change anything. Even if they all believe in religion, they will still be "the ancient deceiver who believes in religion."

of course, I'm not asking you to give in to the bad guy.

it makes you despise their existence, let alone put in your body, time, energy and dignity because of bad people.

you have to believe an old saying that the wicked suffer from the wicked.

for bad people, ignore him and let him speed up erosion is the best retribution.

04

tell me why you don't get entangled when it comes to breaking things. There are also two points.

first of all, most bad things are irreparable.

the idiom of "breaking the retort" tells such a story.

Guo Tai was on his way when he saw a man walking with a jar on his back. The jar suddenly fell and broke all over the ground.

the passer-by did not look back or look, and went on walking as if nothing had happened.

Guo Tai came forward and asked him, "Why is your jar broken? why don't you even take a look at it?"

the man replied sonorously, "it's all broken, so what's the use?"

Guo Tai thought this guy was a talent, so he advised him to study hard.

this man also followed the advice and went on to study for as long as ten years, and eventually achieved success and became famous all over the world.

this story is the same as a western proverb:

but most people can't do it.

the boss's rebuke makes you depressed for N days, and you can't face your wife even if you miss the bus.

you are full of hostility, and you can't help but say a few words when you see your colleagues.

stuck in the road, dry as a heat wave, you keep honking the horn and cursing the traffic in front of you.

Yes, we often ask for trouble over and over again for irreparable things, but isn't this another kind of self-abuse?

in one class, Holland, a professor of psychology at Perkins University, told the students a funny story, and the class roared with laughter.

then, let's start a serious lecture.

after a while, he spit out the joke again.

at this time, several students laughed twice in reward.

unexpectedly, the professor told the lesson for a while and then retold the previous story in detail.

this time, no one laughed any more, and everyone looked at each other and their eyes turned to surprise.

at this time, Holland said in his spare time:

second point, you often argue with bad things, often because you have too few serious things.

I once eliminated an employee because of his low performance and being too hypocritical and annoying.

how to be sentimental?

I just feel that he lives in dire straits every day, either the customer deceives him, or the product manager deceives him, or else there is not enough takeout and quarrel with the younger brother for a long time.

the most classic time, he changed his ticket and refunded the ticket in Ctrip, and the money didn't come to his account until a week later. As a result, he spent almost two days arguing with Ctrip's customer service, saying that he had more than 1000 yuan. Why did he spend a week on Ctrip's account for nothing? why doesn't the interest be calculated to him?

of course, you can say that he has a sense of activist, but he spends too much energy on these crap, but he doesn't do much of what he really needs to do, such as running customers, and finally his performance falls outside the complete zone and is eliminated by the company.

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later I also understood that his hypocrisy and low performance were originally a symbiote that nourished each other.

the less you do serious things, the easier it is to focus on bad things.

and those stupid things, as if they have their own magnetic field, attract each other.

gradually you will lose more energy and it will be difficult to make room for serious work.

think of a psychologist's saying:

everything everyone deals with is a process of "brain remodeling".

what kind of things you deal with, you can't help but "play" the corresponding role until you really become that way.