There is a kind of self-cultivation that knows people but does not judge others, and the governor is silent.

the ancients said:

you should know how to speak properly, don't see through it, don't be too harsh, leave three points of thin side; don't grovel to others, but have your own dignity.

in life, speaking and doing things is a great knowledge. Only by keeping a good balance can life be comfortable and leisurely.

01

A man lives a face and a tree lives a bark.

Don't talk and do things too much, and be sure to save face for others.

keep certain boundaries and boundaries, and you just need to know some words.

A stay-at-home mother found a cleaning aunt on the website and spent 60 yuan cleaning for two hours. After aunt

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came, the mother recognized her high school classmate at a glance.

both of them recognized each other, but neither of them recognized each other.

the mother prepared a glass of water for him and said nothing more.

haven't seen each other for ten years, it would have been a good thing to see my old classmates again.

but the situation is different from each other, so the old classmates pretend not to know each other in order to avoid embarrassment.

the mother didn't break it wisely.

A pair of couplets at the gate of Jinge Temple in Wutai Mountain reads:

the more sophisticated a person knows, the less he will speak.

you don't have to say everything you know, but you don't have friends when you say it all.

you don't have to be too clear, as long as you know it.

knowing how to save face for others is the highest level of EQ.

02

blame others not harshly, it is reasonable to forgive others

Zi Gong once asked Confucius whether there is a word that can be followed for a lifetime.

Confucius replied, "forgive me".

A man is not a sage. No one can make mistakes. If he makes mistakes, he can't be too good.

everyone is not a saint, how can he not make mistakes?

learn to forgive others. Just point out that others have made mistakes. You don't have to be domineering and aggressive.

Last year, a video of a director scolding the waiter at the airport went viral.

the director was furious with the waiter because the food at the airport was bad.

it was no use for the waiter to apologize. Finally, the little girl was scolded to cry, and the director was still adamant.

it is reasonable to forgive people, not to mention that it is not up to the waiter to decide the taste of the food.

hold on to other people's mistakes, aggressive, dirty export, such a person is too low-level.

LV Kun of the Ming Dynasty once said:

because of a mistake, others are left speechless and ashamed, and such people are bound to be narrow-minded and mean.

treat others with mercy, rebuke others for leaving three points of leeway, give others a chance to change, and give themselves some morals.

03

respect others, do not be humble, do not please others

the Book of changes says: "the upper hand is not cheap, the lower one is not desecrated."

do not flatter those who have a higher status than themselves, and do not treat those who are lower than themselves lightly.

this is the character of a gentleman.

Bai Yansong once went to a university to give a lecture.

A student sent a Weibo message: "I'm going to see Mr. Bai Yansong!"

use eight exclamation points in conjunction.

Bai Yansong said: why use eight exclamation marks?

because you think I'm good, I'm good.

so you won't dare to refute what I'm saying, and you won't have room to think for yourself.

then my speech is meaningless.

in our day, there was no need to sign, but to take a picture.

the teacher speaks well. If you listen carefully, if you don't speak well, you will refute it.

No matter who or how famous this person is, everyone will have his own thinking.

No matter how high others are, they should not look up.

to treat others, start with heads-up.

if you want the respect of others, you must first respect yourself and never belittle yourself.

excessive humility will only make people look down on you.

only by being neither humble nor arrogant can we win the respect of others.