The three people closest to you are the dignitaries of your life.

in this life, people will meet countless kinds of people.

writer Jia Pingwa once said:

indeed, what kind of people you choose to be with determines the fate of your life.

what kind of person you are with, what kind of person you will become and what kind of life you will have.

if you meet these three kinds of people, you must get to know each other deeply, because they are dignitaries in life.

01

people with positive energy

some studies have shown that people are the only animals that can accept cues.

if you spend a long time with someone, you will become what kind of person you will become.

people with negative energy are like a pool of stagnant water.

with them, pessimism will slowly deplete your enthusiasm for life, lose confidence in yourself, and become a negative person.

on the contrary, friends with positive energy are like the shining sun;

being with them can bring you infinite warmth, illuminate your life, and make you a positive and optimistic person.

once upon a time, there was a young man who thought life was boring, couldn't do anything, and was depressed all day.

he was so distressed that he went to find a wise man and look for a solution.

after listening to his troubles, the wise man said to him:

the young man looked dazed and did not understand why he did so.

the wise man saw his doubts and explained:

the young man went back skeptically and did what the wise man said.

after a few months, his state of mind has undergone earth-shaking changes, no longer sighing, full of enthusiasm and expectation for life.

the young man specially went back to find the wise man and express his gratitude to him.

as the saying goes, those who are close to ink are red, and those who are close to ink are black.

people influence each other.

there was a saying in the Analects of Confucius:

for the rest of your life, get close to those who have positive energy.

go with positive people, they will push you forward and make you a better person.

02

people who are willing to criticize you

there is a saying in

the Power of growth:

in life, people are only willing to say words of praise, because they can make people happy without offending others.

and critical words are easy to add to people's hearts and be disliked.

but in fact, most of the time, those who are willing to criticize you are the ones who are really good for you.

Zhang Hua and Ang Lee have known each other for many years.

at that time, Zhang Hua was just a small clerk, but Ang Lee's career went smoothly and started his own company.

Ang Lee has always appreciated Zhang Hua's talent, so he invited Zhang Hualai to take up the position of manager in his own company.

Zhang Hua is straightforward, and what is wrong with Ang Lee's decision is always outspoken and pointed out in public.

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people in the company all think that Ang Lee is both a boss and a good friend to Zhang Hua, and it is inappropriate to criticize him in public.

one day, Ang Lee's assistant could not help mentioning this matter in front of Ang Lee. Instead of being angry, Ang Lee sincerely said:

I remember that there is a saying:

only those who really want you will tell you the truth, point out your shortcomings, and will never let you make mistakes without knowing it.

flattery words are beautiful, but they are unreliable;

sincere criticism is ugly, but it is the most valuable.

those who are willing to criticize you are not only your mentors, but also the dignitaries in your life.

03

the person who knows how to appreciate you

will meet countless people in his life, but it is impossible to find one who knows how to appreciate himself.

there is a passage in "Walking freely and alone":

"A lot of people are saying that they are lonely, and those who say they are lonely are not lonely.

loneliness is not neglected and abandoned, but has no bosom friend and is not understood. "

it is a very lucky thing for someone to understand you when you are alive.

when Lin Ching-hsien, a Taiwanese writer, was in high school, his academic performance was very poor, his behavior was not good, he was demerited twice, and he was even kicked out of the school's student dormitory.

at that time, many teachers were very disappointed in him, only his Chinese teacher, not only did not dislike him, but even often brought him home to teach him to study.

the Chinese teacher said to him, "I have been teaching for 50 years, and I can see at a glance that you are a student who can achieve great things."

it is these words that illuminate Lin Qingxuan's life and change the fate of his life.

he thinks he finally met someone who appreciates him. In order to live up to his teacher's expectations, he began to study hard and determined to be a useful person to society.

many years later, Lin Qingxuan became a famous writer, and his works influenced countless people.

I like what Sanmao said very much:

everyone will have a bright spot that they may not even find;

if someone can notice and sincerely express their appreciation for themselves, no matter who it is, it will be a great inspiration in the heart.

most of the time, you never know how much energy your inadvertent compliment will give the other person, or even change the fate of his life.

in this life, it doesn't matter who you are, but who is around you.

everyone around you, everything they experience, is virtually changing you and affecting the direction of your life.

go with someone who is willing to criticize you, and he will always urge you to find your shortcomings in time and correct them.

your life is very short, so it really matters who you spend time with.