The most comfortable relationship turns out to be the Law of Panax Notoginseng.
Beautiful morning light, accompany you to read.
there is a folk saying:
it takes three minutes of rice and seven cents of water to cook porridge; one-third cold and seven percent full;
to read, seven points of taste; three points of drunkenness and seven minutes of awakening to drink.
the so-called "Sanqi Law" applies to most things, and it also applies to relationships and feelings.
in my opinion, the most comfortable relationship is nothing more than three points of clear speech, seven points of tacit understanding; three points of communication, seven percent tolerance; three percent joy, seven percent cherish.
take a poetic taste and stay calm, so that you can find your own stability and calmness in the complicated world.
01
to put it bluntly, the Buddha said: no matter how much you talk to someone who has nothing to do with you, it is nonsense.
the person who is predestined with you, your presence can awaken all his feelings. This must be the so-called soul mate.
just like the famous pianist Yu Boya and woodcutter period in the Spring and Autumn period.
"what Boya read, Zhong Zi must get it".
whatever comes to mind when Boya plays the piano, Zhong Ziqi can clearly express his heart.
when Boya played the piano, he thought of the towering Mount Tai. Zhong Ziqi listened and exclaimed:
"that's great!" It's like the towering Mount Tai standing in front of me! "
when Boya played the piano, he thought of the broad river. Zhong Ziqi exclaimed:
"well, it's like an endless river flowing in front of me!"
after Zhong Ziqi died, Boya was so devastated that he thought that there was no more bosom friend of him in the world.
break your favorite piano, break the strings, and don't want to play the piano for the rest of your life.
speaking clearly is common, tacit understanding is not common, friends are easy to get, bosom friends are difficult to find.
if you can run into such a comfortable relationship, you will believe that there is still beauty in the world.
writer Su Qin said:
what is the tacit understanding? At the beginning, a tacit understanding is a conversation, and you will understand it. Later, a tacit understanding is a look in the eye, and it becomes clear when you see it. Later, tacit understanding is a kind of belief, and I feel at ease when I think of it.
tacit understanding makes the warmest distance in the world.
A comfortable relationship between people is a clear and tacit understanding.
understand your implication, your desire to stop, and all the meanings of your worries, troubles, and happiness;
can complement and help you, but also can help you develop your strengths and circumvent your weaknesses, and share all the pain in detail, complexity, and depression.
such tacit understanding is not inborn, but in the course of getting along day by day,
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in the name of love and care, observe attentively, pay attention to, and spread the true feelings from the inside out.
even a glass of water, a look and a hug can make you feel gentle and down-to-earth.
02
three points of communication
there is a saying on the Internet: "there are no two identical leaves and no two identical snowflakes in the world."
Love or friendship.
A sincere and lasting relationship requires communication and mutual tolerance.
the feelings of the entertainment industry are on and off, and it is always hard to figure out whether it is true or false.
many so-called "immortal couples" are also strangers and go their separate ways.
on the contrary, Carina Lau and Tony Leung, who were not favored from the beginning, have been in love with each other for more than 30 years.
what does it rely on? It depends on tolerance and understanding.
the two men, an introverted melancholy man and an extroverted shrewd woman, do not match in any way.
in a variety show, Carina Lau revealed the details of her life with Tony Leung:
when the house was being decorated, Tony Leung thought it was troublesome and took his suitcase to the hotel to check in, leaving his wife to deal with the workers.
he didn't come back with a suitcase until the house was basically decorated.
when she is in a bad mood, she will fly to London without saying a word to feed the pigeons. Carina Lau even arranges the wedding.
if these things had happened to others, she could not bear it long ago, but Carina Lau had no sense of grievance at all.
because when you are in the most difficult time, the other person is always by her side, encouraging and comforting her.
tell her affectionately: "this circle is so complicated, let's leave. We can go wherever you want."
in their view, love means giving to each other, tolerating each other, no right or wrong, no gain or loss.
whether stars or ordinary people, triviality is the norm, and contradictions and quarrels are common.
I have always liked the saying:
the most valuable love is always understanding and action.
maybe we all have fantasies about perfect relationships, but gradually we all understand that there are few matches made in heaven or friends between gods, and life always has its own difficulties.
there is never a unified standard for two people to get along.
I understand your personality, so I will not criticize you, you understand my needs, so you will not give up on me.
understanding each other, meeting slowly and falling in love for a long time is the best way to achieve it.
03
Don't lose someone who is kind to you; don't let down a heart that treats you sincerely. "
how many feelings begin with fate, coincide with joy, but are destroyed by not cherishing them.
every relationship in the world is not easy to come by, so it is more necessary to manage it carefully.
well-known director Ang Lee is acceptingDuring the interview with Luyu, there was a passage that touched me very much.
Lu Yu asked, "what is your greatest happiness at this stage?"
Ang Lee replied:
my wife can smile at me, I will relax a little bit, and I will feel very happy.
just because I became a father and a husband does not mean that I can naturally win their respect.
you still have to earn their respect every day. You have to meet a certain standard, because this is one of the reasons why I am not slack off.
whenever I see this passage, I will be in awe.
it turns out that I didn't become your husband and your father, so you have to listen to me and obey me.
but I try my best to cherish you and win your respect for me.
I have always envied the feelings of my grandparents. My grandfather is weak and my grandmother is tough. They have been in love and killed each other for decades.
Grandpa likes to raise flowers and plants. Grandma says flowers and plants to trick mosquitoes.
the next day she turns out a small flower bed in the yard for him to grow.
Grandma likes to play cards with her old sister, and Grandpa complains that she always loses money, but
she still cooks the meal at home honestly, waiting for her to come back.
Grandpa's pension days, always ride his 28 bike to take grandma to the market,
A small hairpin, a pair of ordinary gloves, will make grandma feel like a treasure.
it is precisely because we cherish each other that we can make every ordinary little thing in life move people's hearts.
any relationship deserves to be owned only if you know how to cherish it. Only with your heart can you last long.
only those who know how to cherish deserve to be spoiled in the palm of their hands;
those who cherish others will be cherished and cared for by others.
04
I like the passage that Zhihu netizen @ nite said:
meet or fall in love,
all the feelings worth getting along with are nothing more than seeking comfort.
keep a tacit understanding in public speaking, learn to be tolerant in communication, and cherish it in joy.
in this way, we can be free and comfortable for a long time.
light up [watching]. May you and I not need self-pity, inferiority and self-doubt for the rest of our lives.
but be spoiled, loved and treated gently, meet a good person, and find a bosom friend.
what you see is joyful, and what you hope for is complete.