The greatest charm of a person: the grace of speaking, the temperature of doing things, and the thickness of the soul

"the face will age, but the demeanor will last forever."

the wild goose leaves the sound, and the person leaves his name.

everyone's words and deeds will leave an impression on the minds of others.

the greatest charm of a person is the grace of speaking, the temperature of doing things, and the thickness of his soul.

01

speak gracefully

in the latest issue of "Director Please advise", Cai Kangyong took part in the competition as a director.

on the bench of the judges, there are senior directors with more than ten years of experience, as well as professional professors from the Film Academy.

when Cai Kangyong's short film was broadcast, several judges questioned it.

someone said, "I don't understand what your ending is trying to say."

Tsai Kangyong did not retort directly, but said: "this issue is very important. If we do not understand it, it is our lack of acting."

then a professor pointed out, "Why do you use so much narration in your short film?" Movies are most taboo to use a lot of narration to explain. "

Cai Kangyong replied:

"your correction is very correct. In fact, I know that this story is not suitable for 10 minutes, so I have to use narration.

but this is not a reason to get off the hook, because every director faces the same situation as I do. "

the words not only took care of the feelings of the judges, but also expressed their concerns, so that everyone accepted it calmly.

A professional judge later praised

Cai Kangyong, the first director to criticize himself. Most of the previous directors kept making excuses, which reflected the problem of one's realm.

in fact, in the face of questioning, you don't have to be aggressive, you can also be personable.

when faced with difficulties and questions, excuses are the most useless.

Paul Graham, the godfather of Silicon Valley entrepreneurship, put forward the theory of "refuting the pyramid":

We inevitably have quarrels in our work and life. Paul Graham divides these behaviors into seven categories in turn.

the lower the behavior under the pyramid, the more useless it is.

levels 1 to 3: abusing and attacking people; this is completely meaningless behavior, don't spend time on it;

levels 4 to 5: opposites, opposing arguments, this kind of communication begins to be constructive and belongs to normal dialogue;

levels 6 to 7: find fallacies, put forward main arguments and grounds, this is really effective communication, can grow with each other, and is worth discussing with each other.

the manner of speaking is based on logic and thinking ability, rather than simply venting emotions or swallowing anger.

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Cai Kangyong once said:

"High EQ does not mean not losing your temper, but reasonably losing your temper."

valuable growth can be achieved when you think hard, put aside your prejudices, and have good reasons, even if you are completely different from the other person's position.

02

do things with temperature

like this sentence:

"be a person with temperature, read articles with temperature, and have the fate of temperature when there is something about temperature."

I know an aunt in public welfare activities. She is about 50 years old.

she sets aside an afternoon every week to visit the lonely elderly.

during the visit, the aunt did not donate money, nor did she help the old man wash and cook.

just sit quietly in the yard, drinking tea and chatting with the old man for three hours.

she said: "these old people have no children and have few friends. They don't spend much money. They just want to talk to people."

in old age, people do not seek fame and wealth, but need a little temperature to dispel loneliness.

I remember that on National Day, my sister and I went to see my grandmother.

Grandma was very excited, set the table, took out snacks, and everyone sat together chatting and laughing.

when I was about to leave, my grandmother said, "I am very happy that you can come to see me."

in this unaffectionate world, it is very difficult for us to give our hearts. For fear of being calculated and failed, our hearts will slowly become cold.

but deep down in everyone's heart, they all yearn for warmth.

writer Zhang Xiaoxian said:

"We are all pursuing temperature: the temperature of food, the temperature of friends, the temperature of sunlight."

Best friend, always give you a warm feeling. You don't need to see each other often. Every time you think of him, your heart will always warm. "

the temperature of lovers does not need to be warm, just a hug;

the temperature of friends, regardless of right and wrong, lies in each other's sincerity.

for the rest of my life, I will become a person with temperature, suitable thickness and quiet dependence.

03

Soul has thickness

NetEase Yun has a popular comment:

the so-called interesting soul is actually this person's information density and knowledge level, which is much higher than yours.