The four most comfortable states in an adult relationship

how realistic is the adult relationship?

there is a heart-wrenching answer: if you don't come out once, you won't make another date next time.

the more mature we are, the more fragile our feelings will be, and we will fall out as soon as we disagree. Old friends have become passers-by for many years, and we love to stay by ourselves more and more.

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but there are always some friends who are not willing to let go, let alone forget, and are comfortable enough to get along.

the most comfortable relationship is in these four states.

01

if you have something to contact, don't worry about

the author of the brief book has gone to work in the city, and there is less and less contact with old friends.

once in a while he went back to his hometown to do business. Together with his colleagues, he wanted to ask his friends to recommend a good hotel, but his friends took them home directly and said they could live there.

he was embarrassed, but he went to business and talked about customers all day, and didn't say a few words before leaving.

instead of complaining about him, my friend said, "tell me when you come back, one or two people, I'm fine."

when he is in a big city, he goes to bed in the early hours of the morning because of his work. Sometimes he thinks of chatting, and his friends go to bed early.

when I wanted to be a guest during the Spring Festival, there were so many relatives that I was too busy.

but they are always thinking about each other, and every other time they have to ask each other how they are doing. They don't see it in time and come back only after a day or two.

when chatting, they still hit it off, talking about their childhood and their respective developments, and both were very happy.

I don't often see each other, but when a friend has a lawsuit at home, he is also a contact everywhere, as long as he can help.

in the past, I liked to stick together, but later I envied it more and more that I could maintain the same relationship without deliberate contact.

there is no need to confirm the tacit understanding between friends. Like NetEyun hot comment sentence:

if the relationship is mediocre, no matter how many contacts, there are concerns, can be thousands of miles apart and keep contact, it is enough tacit understanding.

We are busy with each other because we don't say anything and we know that we are thinking about each other.

there is something to find each other, a message, a phone call, enough contact.

it is easy and comfortable to have such a relationship.

02

former actress Liu Lin posted Weibo to Mei Ting to celebrate her birthday. When the two pushed their children together, netizens were surprised to realize that they had been friends for 17 years.

few people know that when they become friends, they cooperate with the "camphor tree" and start after a quarrel.

at that time, Liu Lin couldn't get out of the role and messed up with Mei Ting on the set: "how could you do this to me?" She said Toni was too miserable to act in the play.

Mei Ting also wondered, "Liu Lin, what are you doing?" This is an act. "

the two quarreled and thought they were going to delay filming, but they came out talking and laughing without waiting for anyone to persuade them.

Mei Ting herself is a drama madman. Liu Lin's persistence and pursuit are the same as her. The deeper you talk, the more you lose your temper.

the three values are the same, not that there are no contradictions, but that the ideas agree and can be transposed.

when Liu Lin broke up with her boyfriend, Mei Ting did not dislike her complaint, but sympathized with her comfort: "you still have me, I will give you an old age."

some friends, like another self, will love you when you suffer, and when something good happens to you, she will rejoice from the bottom of her heart.

A good relationship between the two can be heart to heart.

situations can be different and ideas can be different, because the three values are appropriate, but they can be friends and understand each other.

sometimes people's joys and sorrows can be linked.

as long as you find someone who understands you, talk, chat, and work with you, you will feel much more comfortable.

all have the same temper and nature. once we meet, it is too late to meet each other.

03

however, close and have a relationship

people get along with others, the most afraid of the sense of impotence, no matter how good the relationship, we should grasp the yardstick.

Ni Kuang and Jin Yong have always been close friends. He contributed to Jin Yong's Ming Pao, but the contribution fee has not been long.

at that time, prices in Hong Kong went up year after year, but his fee only increased by 5%. After dinner and drinking, Ni Kuang lost his temper and asked Jin Yong to give him more money.

Jin Yong said it on the spot and wrote him a letter afterwards, listing 10 reasons for not raising the contribution fee.

when Ni Kuang saw the reply, although he was upset, he knowingly said nothing more. He ate and drank, and his relationship remained the same.

Ming Pao is a big newspaper and there is no shortage of manuscripts.

in addition, if he increases the contribution fee, others will also ask for an increase, and Jin Yong must refuse if he breaks the rules.

if giving reaches the bottom line, or becomes reluctant, it is no longer intimacy.

there is no one in the world who wants to think about you unconditionally. Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone, no matter who or how close it is.

sounds heart-wrenching, but in fact, the best relationship is one that is not overrated.

Ni Kuang has a comment on Jin Yong: "he would rather buy a gift of 10,000 yuan for me than add a fee of 100 yuan. He is a first-class friend and a ninth-rate boss."

do not overestimate and no longer expect a big increase in contribution fees, while Jin Yong's usual generosity often surprises him.

every time he eats, he leaves his favorite fish head to Ni Kuang.

several people played cards. Ni Kuang lost all his money to buy a camera. When he was depressed, Jin Yong freely paid out of his own pocket and bought him the best one.

some friendships have no boundaries, and there is always someone who is tired first, too intimate, and has negative feelings.

while Ni Kuang and Jin YongIt is not too familiar, close and moderate, and has become a good brother for a lifetime.

Friends get along for a long time, more or less understand each other's principles and bottom line, less touch, the closer the relationship, the more comfortable they will be.

it is just the right thing to have a close relationship.

04

give sincerely and go both ways

even if you don't want to admit it, there are not many people who can call friends in the circle of friends.

Friends who can admit from their hearts, without exception, all pay for each other from the bottom of their hearts.

Zhihu topic # what is the best state between friends? there is an answer that is very moving.

the respondent said that he had just gone to bed at 11:00 at night when he was quarreled by a best friend's phone call: "I was in a car accident."

she bounced vaguely out of bed and quickly put on her clothes.

when she was ready to help, she said to her best friend, "call the ambulance!" Where are you? do you have any money on you? did the other party run away? " The more you talk, the more urgent you are.

it was only then that my best friend explained that she had dodged, only startled and told her for fun.

she couldn't laugh or cry and sat down on the bed until she saw her best friend talking about home.

Cai Kangyong has a saying: "you don't want to be sincere with every friend, because it's too tired."

Friends often fool around and occasionally complain about each other, but they are willing to pay for each other.

feelings deep to the bone must be two-way.

the respondent had an accident and didn't want to talk to anyone. He happened to be on the phone with his best friend, and he choked up after a few words of greeting.

she cried endlessly until she stopped and the call showed 40 minutes.

the respondent was embarrassed and said that she had wasted her phone bill and invited her to dinner another day.

but my best friend replied, "Please fart, go downstairs and open the door in half an hour."

the best friend who has just returned from out of town made a detour to the main house, fearing that she would be hungry if she was in a bad mood, so she specially bought midnight snacks and brought them over.

warm, it is contagious.

A truly comfortable relationship can be strong or weak, and it will never be irrelevant.

the affection becomes deeper and deeper when we owe each other.

friends, really give, go both ways, give back to each other, get kind treatment, it is really worth it.

05

say hello to old friends from afar, talk to friends with the same values, keep moderation with close friends, take the initiative to give to close friends, and don't dislike each other.

the most comfortable relationship is to treat each other sincerely and have a tacit understanding.