The best way to get along with others: respect is standard, reliability is high, and kindness is top.

there is a saying in the seclusion of the Little window: it is better to meet at first than never to get tired of it.

We will meet a lot of people in our life. at first, we talk to each other, but in the end, the relationship slowly fades away, and few of us can keep in touch with each other all the time.

if you want to have a long-term relationship, you always need to give and run-in with each other.

after half a lifetime, I realized that the best mode of getting along with each other probably follows a logic:

respect is standard, reliable is high, and kindness is the top.

01

respect is standard

Schiller said a famous saying: "those who do not respect others will not be respected."

respect for others is respect for yourself.

the Book of changes says: "neither the upper hand nor the lower one is desecrated."

do not flatter those who are stronger than you, and do not treat those who are weaker than you lightly.

this is not only a person's inner kindness, but also a person's personality and self-cultivation.

I have read the story of comedian Charlie Chaplin.

on a tour, Chaplin met an audience he had admired for a long time.

the two had a good conversation, so the audience invited Chaplin to his home.

the other party is a baseball fan. he shows Chaplin around his baseball collection and happily introduces Chaplin to all kinds of collectibles.

Chaplin smiled all the time and listened attentively.

when he got home, he immediately contacted a baseball star and asked him to sign his friend's baseball cap.

people around me are surprised by this, because Chaplin has a quiet nature and is not keen on baseball. Chaplin said, "although I don't like baseball, my friends do."

this reminds me of a story by the writer Bai Xianyong.

for a time, Bai Xianyong's youth version of the Peony Pavilion caused a sensation across the country, and many people were praising and discussing this work.

but his friend Chen Wenxi is not interested at all, so he never mentions the play in front of Chen Wenxi.

later, when Chen Wenqian knew about it, she said with emotion, "I am very grateful for this!" He can innovate, I can be stubborn, and no one will convince the other. "

think of the words of the philosopher Kant: "I respect any independent soul, although I do not agree with some, but I can understand as much as possible."

in this world, everyone has different experiences and positions.

it is not necessary to seek common ground, but to respect each other.

when dealing with people, the first thing we need to do is to give each other enough respect.

respect other people's interests, respect other people's values, respect each other's differences.

"Mencius leaves Lou Zhang sentence": those who respect others, people always respect them.

only by knowing how to respect can we win respect.

treating people equally and respecting each other are the most basic rules of communication between people.

02

reliable

Mr. Yang Jiang said: "one's moral character is the master of talent, and talent is only the servant of moral character."

it is known that the greatest characteristic of a person with good character is to be reliable.

reliable, reflecting not only a person's attitude towards doing things, but also a rare moral cultivation.

I have heard a saying: "really make friends to find reliable people, smart people can only chat."

what is reliable?

someone once made an incisive definition: there is an explanation everywhere, a reason for everything, and an echo of everything.

whether a person is worth interacting with and whether he can get along for a long time often depends on how reliable he is.

I have a cousin in my hometown who has a friend who runs a decoration company.

usually this friend is always enthusiastic, making friends with others, and often says that if you need any help, you can feel free to come to him.

Last year, my cousin's new house was going to be decorated, so I naturally thought of that friend.

the other party talked eloquently and quickly came up with the design plan. As soon as my cousin saw that it was exactly what he wanted, he quickly signed a decoration contract with him and paid a deposit.

when the construction actually started, my cousin realized that this was not the case at all.

it was originally agreed to ensure the quality of the materials, but as a result, all the inferior products were sent.

cousin hurriedly asked him to change, and the man promised that there was no problem, but in fact he procrastinated.

it took more than half a year to finish what could have been completed in three months.

cousin is also suffering can not say, can only secretly eat this dumb loss.

unreliable people always pay attention to promises, but always have nothing to do.

in life, there are many such people who talk about it in words, but never put it into practice.

when something goes wrong, they will only pass the buck and procrastinate if they can.

to get along with this kind of person, you should not only be nervous all the time, but also make you suffer unnecessary losses.

the ancients used to say: "one promise is a thousand gold" and "one promise is worth nine".

A promise is not a word but something as valuable as gold.

it is said in the Book of changes: "if people help you, you will believe."

people who are really reliable always act in good faith with a sincere heart.

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they don't promise easily, but once they nod and say yes, they will do their best to do it.

people who are really reliable have the ability to reassure people.

in this world, there is no shortage of smart people, but reliable and down-to-earth people.

be sure to walk with reliable people for the rest of your life.

simultaneouslyYou should always remind yourself to be a responsible and reliable person.

only if you are always reliable, will you meet a friend who is as reliable as you.

03

kindness is the best match.

there is a saying in Shi Shuo Xinyu: "virtue becomes wisdom, industry is broad but diligence, small wealth depends on diligence, middle wealth depends on wisdom, and great wealth depends on virtue."

calculation is not as good as profit, shrewdness is not as good as kindness, and man is not as good as heaven.

A shrewd man always loses the overall situation for small profits and breaks his own way; a kind-hearted man always sees the hearts of the people with foresight and accomplishes his life.

I have seen such a piece of news.

A classmate gave a big red packet of 8888 yuan when he got married, but he received a gift of 1314 yuan in return.

the client Xiao Liu said that he and Chen had a very good relationship at school and promised each other 8888 yuan in red envelopes when they got married.

Chen got married two years ago, and Xiao Liu gave him a red envelope as promised.

he said: "this is equivalent to more than two months' salary, but I feel that I have to keep my promise in order to live up to our Brotherhood."

in the end, when it was Xiao Liu's turn to hold the wedding, the other party only gave a gift of 1314 yuan, and not even I was present.

after so many years of friendship, it turns out to be not worth thousands of yuan.

Xiao Liu recalled the promises made by the two of them, and it was even more chilling when he thought of his efforts over the years.

since then, his relationship with Chen has gradually become estranged.

the maintenance of a friendship usually requires equal efforts from both parties. If there is bias, even the best feelings will fade.

as the saying goes, "it is better to be honest than to care, and wisdom is not as good as kindness."

people who really care about you will not take advantage of you, but will think of you instead.

I have a colleague, Ah Chuan. When we first met, we went to see a movie together.

when I finished the movie and went home, I found that he had transferred 41 yuan to me, while the movie ticket was only 25 yuan.

later he told me that he had bought two colas before check-in, and that 16 yuan was the money he paid for the two colas.

since that time, I have found that this man is worthy of deep acquaintance. He does not take advantage of others and is very generous to his friends.

some people say: "appreciation of a person begins with appearance, respects talent, matches character, lasts longer than kindness, and ends with character."