Smart people don't fight for three things.

in the Legend of Zhen Huan, there is such a line:

do not argue, it is not cowardice, but the wisdom and calm of "not fighting for weaknesses in flashy places".

Life is a spiritual practice, joys and sorrows are all in the state of mind.

if you want too much, you will inevitably get tired. If you look down on everything and look down on it, you will naturally worry less.

A really smart man never fights for these three things.

01

there are all kinds of people and a thousand kinds of things in this world. Not all of them are worth arguing about.

as Carnegie said:

Mr. Zhang Daqian, a famous painter, once held a solo exhibition in England.

at that time, ink painting was rarely seen abroad, and the visitors were quite novel.

someone asked Zhang Daqian to paint on the spot to satisfy everyone's curiosity.

it is hard to resist the kindness. Zhang Daqian improvised and painted a picture of ink peony.

after finishing his pen, he picked up the cup and took a sip of water, and with a poof, the water mist fainted onto the paper.

all of a sudden, the peonies on the paper bloomed more vividly and movingly. The crowd was amazed and applauded one after another.

in the crowd, a man suddenly said with disdain:

looking at that man's aggressive posture, everyone turned their attention to Zhang Daqian to see how he could resolve the dispute.

Zhang Daqian smiled but said nothing, ignoring the man.

afterwards, someone asked him:

Zhang Daqian replied:

"Why do I have to argue with him? If he is interested in Chinese painting, I would like to learn from it.

that's true.

sometimes, the more you argue, the more you get into the quagmire; the more you argue, the more you ask for trouble.

Don't show off, don't be too emotional, just be yourself and let others go.

02

do not win or lose, love for a long time

there is a saying in Cai Gentan:

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Smart people will not haggle over trifles and win or lose.

Mama Wang is a very picky person and always complains a lot about Father Wang.

he often complains that he doesn't earn much money, spends too little time with his family, and does housework carelessly.

Father Wang couldn't beat her, so he gave way to her happily.

Wang Xiaochuan said that when he was a child, he also "bullied" his father with his mother, and when he grew up, he admired his father more and more.

it is because of his modesty and tolerance that this family is stable and peaceful.

Pingru Meitang, which is called "the most beautiful love account", also has such a warm plot.

there is a frame in the book, which reads "Meitang blamed me for not doing anything".

Meitang in the painting crosses her waist and blames Pingru with all kinds of daily accusations:

while Pingru either looks innocent or runs away.

the painting is witty and interesting, and the small disputes in life have become a little fun in the eyes of Ping Ru.

sometimes, children "fight for injustice" for their father, feeling that their mother has lost her temper for no reason.

but Pingru was very open-minded and said with a smile:

in the relationship, one quarreled and the other coaxed. Only when one person loses can two people win.

if you lose, you are unhappy; if you win, others are unhappy.

03

do not strive for face, the heart is not tired

Master Sanjie wrote in his book: "what is face in front of the day?"

but many people in life put the cart before the horse, regard face as more important than life, and often end up exhausted.

Dou Wentao told a story in the Roundtable School: a young man found Dou Wentao through a friend and paid a lot of money to invite him to be the emcee of his wedding.

and solemnly charged him: "I told my relatives that you are my friend. When I heard that I got married, you had to come and host for me." Do me a favor. When the time comes, you must say that you are my friend. "

Dou Wentao is invited to go.

the wedding is very grand and luxurious.

after the banquet dispersed, the drunken young man pulled Dou Wentao and said, "you know, in fact, this wedding is a fake."

it turns out that when the young man was young, his family was very poor, and he was snubbed and looked down upon by his neighbors, relatives and friends.

after making some money, I thought I must do something for all the people who looked down on them at that time. As a result, there was this wedding.

the young man said that he did not want to get married so early at all. The marriage was for relatives and friends and for his parents to earn face.

after hearing this, Dou Wentao felt sad and tired for the young man.

face can be dignity, but it is by no means vanity.

A person's good or bad, honor and disgrace are not in the eyes of others, but in his own heart and practice.

face is for others to see, life is their own, whether happy, happy or not, can coax others, can not deceive themselves.

writer Qin Sang said: "people who value face above heaven are often vulnerable at heart."

Nan Huaijin has a famous saying:

it is instinct to want to win everything.

Life, the simpler the happier. As a man, the more you don't fight, the happier you are.

there is no argument, less right and wrong. If you don't fight for right or wrong, love lasts for a long time. Do not strive for face, the heart is not tired.

only by keeping an open-minded heart can you experience thousands of joys and sorrows in the world.

walking in the world of mortals and being an indisputable person, you can be relaxed and calm.