People are too stubborn, it is a disaster

01

people who are too stubborn tend to suffer the bitter fruit

A few days ago, the neighbor aunt came to my mother to complain:

her mother-in-law did not know whose sweet words she had listened to, and insisted on using her pension money to invest in a financial management product, saying that she would definitely make a lot of money.

the family went to war in turn, and after persuading for a long time, the saliva was almost dry, but the mother-in-law was unmoved, and finally put all the money into it secretly from the family.

the result is not unexpected, my life savings have been wasted, and now I wash my face with tears at home every day.

coincidentally, I have a distant cousin who met a man when she went out to work two years ago.

that man is good-looking and knows how to please girls, but he is frivolous in words, does not do things in a down-to-earth manner, and does not even have a real job.

the whole family thought the man was unreliable and tried to persuade her cousin not to marry him. It is said that her mother almost got down on her knees and begged her.

but my cousin seemed determined, stubbornly thinking that she had the right vision and married that man despite the opposition of the whole family.

unexpectedly, after marriage, the man's attitude towards his cousin was different from that before marriage, like a shopkeeper every day, leaving everything to his cousin to clean up, and the two quarreled constantly. After less than a year of marriage, he had an affair.

only then did my cousin repent and tearfully divorced and returned to her mother's home.

these two stories are not special cases, because we often meet such stubborn people around us:

A very simple thing, you explain to her dry tongue, but she insists that you are wrong;

anyone with discerning eyes can see that there is a fire pit in front of her, but she is determined to jump into it.

they are used to living in their own small world, turning a deaf ear to other people's voices and acting only according to their own logic.

it is a pity that the result of doing so is to eat the bitter fruit and break your head.

02

is too stubborn, the essence is that the cognitive level is not high

some people can see through a little bit, and some people can't turn back even with nine cows.

some people know how to stop their losses in time, while others "never shed tears until they see the coffin".

the gap is often determined not by personality, but by people's "cognitive level".

I have read such a short story:

A person is usually honest, but he just likes to accept death.

once, he bought a beautiful goldfish, but he didn't know how to raise it. He only knew how to feed the goldfish every day.

at first, the goldfish was still alive, but after a few days, the goldfish became sick.

the neighbor told him, "the water in the fish tank should be changed frequently, or the fish will die."

that person insisted: "the goldfish is not energetic. It must not be full. What does it have to do with water?" I just need to feed more fish food. "

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the neighbor told him the trick of keeping goldfish for a long time, but the man ignored it and poured a lot of fish food into the fish tank at once.

as a result, the next day, all the goldfish were dead.

this is the root of many people's stubbornness, perhaps not because they deliberately flatter, but because their cognitive level is limited, thinking that there is only one standard answer to everything, so they instinctively reject other options.

just like the mother-in-law of a neighbor's aunt, she knows neither the ways of investment and financial management nor the common tricks of fraud, believing that this is a profitable business based on other people's empty promises.

on the other hand, my cousin, who is inexperienced in love and does not know how to know people, only sees the sweet words in front of her, but does not see the chicken feathers in the future.

so at a time like this, no matter how much others persuade them, they have already made up their minds, and no matter how much explanation and advice they give, they turn a deaf ear.

03

fools rest on their laurels, and wise people are flexible

compared with those who cling to their own opinions and close their eyes, real wise people are more open and calm, and they are brave enough to admit their ignorance and are willing to listen to different voices.

there is a story of "circle of knowledge" in ancient Greece:

once, a student asked the famous philosopher Zeno, "teacher, you know several times as much as I do, and the questions you answer are very correct." but why do you always have questions about your answers? "

Zeno conveniently drew two circles on the table, pointed to the two circles and said:

"the big circle is my knowledge, the small circle is your knowledge, and outside the circle is the part of our ignorance.

the perimeter of the big circle is longer than the small circle, so I come into contact with more areas of ignorance than you do. That's why I always doubt myself. "

the higher a person's cognitive level, the more meta-thinking he sees things, and the more inclusive he will be to all things in the world.

on the other hand, the lower a person's cognitive level, the more unitary his ideas and turn a deaf ear to other people's opinions.

this is why people who are more powerful tend to be more modest, while people who are more ignorant tend to be more stubborn.

talking to people with different cognitive levels often gives people a sense of powerlessness.

you say that reading is very important, but he says that someone can still be a big boss even after graduating from primary school.

you say that the outside world is wonderful, and he says that he is still alive and well without going far in his life.

being too stubborn means rejecting new knowledge, refusing reflection, refusing empathy, and finally refusing your own improvement and growth.

in the final analysis, being too stubborn is not a virtue of adhering to principles, but a lack of wisdom.

04

never argue with someone who is too stubborn.Emerson has a famous saying:

the essence of stubbornness lies in the lack of cognitive level, and the improvement of cognitive level does not happen overnight.

you can never convince a stubborn person, just as you can never wake a person who pretends to sleep.

instead of arguing pointlessly with those stubborn people and trying to change their inherent thinking, it is better to stay away from them and cultivate themselves.

after all, only time can tell who is right and who is wrong, and only when you hit the wall do you know that good advice goes against the ears.

what we need to do is to keep an open mind, read more, listen more, understand more, constantly improve our cognitive level, and make ourselves better and better.

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