"Mom, please praise me." A letter written by a crying child poked countless old parents

01

"No, no? The child is lucky, so he got the first place in the exam, and usually he can't even guarantee the top 10 of the class. "

Mom, I was really disappointed when you once again attributed my efforts to get the first place in the exam to good luck in front of outsiders.

Mom, how bad am I in your eyes?

Why do you always give me all kinds of bad reasons when others praise me?

do you know that I am even doing exercises during the recess in order to get a score that you can be proud of in this unit test?

other students are playing on the playground at recess, but I go to the office again and again to ask the teacher for a question I don't understand.

even the teacher said, I've been working really hard these days, but why is it that when I come to you, my grades are all thanks to luck?

from the top 10 of the class to the first place of the class, it once made me feel very proud.

I gladly told you about my grades, thinking that I would certainly get your affirmation this time. Even the aunt who talked to you said that I was very good, smiled and praised me: "your child is really good, won the first place in the exam!"

what about you?

but you think I'm lucky to do well in an exam once in a while, and I don't approve of me in front of outsiders, mom, don't you know I'll be sad, too?

your words, like a basin of cold water, poured me from head to toe, cooled my incomparably brilliant good mood, and extinguished my enthusiasm and confidence.

especially when you say to that aunt very seriously, "my family can't compare with your children, winning the top three every time, and your children are really good!"

I may not be as good as "other people's children", but I am also working hard and making progress. Even others will praise me. Why is it so difficult for you to admit that I am good in front of others?

Mom, you often praise me at home!

when you see me seriously, you will praise my efforts and feel sorry for my efforts, but once you come to an outsider, you will "pretend to be modest" again and again.

I know that you want to inspire me in this way. You don't want me to become conceited and complacent because of other people's praise. Maybe you are just being polite to others inadvertently.

but you don't know that every moment you "complain" me in order to show your modesty has become an indelible thorn in my heart, and I often feel ashamed and unable to raise my head in front of others.

Mom, although I am a child, I am also a person of flesh and blood. I also have self-esteem. I will also be sad. Like you adults, I am eager to be appreciated and recognized by others.

02

Mom, in my heart, you have always been the best mother in the world, so every time other children say hello, I feel very happy and proud.

I remember when I was 6 years old, you made me a chic handbag. I like it very much. I always carry it to kindergarten.

every time the children in the kindergarten meet, they will say, "your mother is so good. What a beautiful bag!"

and I listened to their praise and felt full of pride in my heart: "Yes!" My mother is amazing, and she can make a lot of beautiful bags! "

when I was 8 years old, I was in the first grade. You made delicious cookies for me and asked me to take them to school as a snack. The students said that the cookies looked delicious.

at that time, I was very happy to share your cookies with them and showed off to them again and again:

you see, every time someone praises you, I am so proud that I can't help but want to say to the world, "my mom, she's so great!"

Yes! My mother she is very good, because she is my mother!

including last time you said that your article was praised by several teachers, and I couldn't help showing off to my aunt at dinner: "look, this is my mother. How amazing!"

because you are my mother, I am proud of you.

because you are my mother, I also hope that I can be the child you are proud of.

I hope that when others praise me, I can make you say with joy, "Yes, my child is great, she works hard and does a good job!"

instead of waiting for a sentence: "where, where, there is still a long way to go!"

or return to a cool polite phrase: "No, it's not as good as your child!"

03

Mom, do you remember when you chatted with my deskmate Cece's mother at the last parent-teacher meeting?

I really envy Cece, because when you praised Cece for her great progress, I saw her mother smile happily and kept telling you:

"our family Cissy has been really diligent and hard these days, and her grades have improved to the top five. This is all the result of her efforts. Her father and I are going to reward her and reward her these days."

you see, Cece's mother is not modest at all, but I really like her.

I think Cece's progress is so fast that it must be inseparable from her mother's encouragement and recognition in front of people, which must have given her a lot of confidence and strength that I have never had before.

and Wen Wen, the little boy in the neighbor's house, you always say that his mother likes to show off and brag to others, always saying that her children are good, and never educate them well.

but you know what??

I saw his mother criticize him at home more than once when I was playing with Wen Jia, but no matter how she said that Wen Wen was not good at home, she never said anything bad about Wen Wen in front of outsiders.

sometimes, I also envy the free, easy and bright text.

because he knows that even if his parents give him torrential rain or thunder and lightning at home, it is still his warmest and last resort in front of others.

Mom, you adults are really strange sometimes.

obviously I feel that my child is good, but I dare not brag about my child in front of others.

you always think that praising us in front of outsiders will make us too smug and disgusted, but in fact, that's not the case!

when we know that we are really good in your hearts, save enough face and get the dignity we deserve, we will gain the confidence and courage to overcome all difficulties.

isn't it good to "show off" your children to others?

Mom, please praise me confidently once in a while!

after all, I hope to get the recognition and support of my dearest and beloved you.

the love I want is never how expensive shoes and clothes you buy for me, nor how big a house you live in or how luxurious a car you take, but I can always feel clearly:

I am irreplaceable and excellent in your hearts, even if the whole world does not want me, there is another person who can proudly tell others, "my child, in my heart, it is so good, there are many advantages, but also very good." It's our pride. "

Mom, the next time someone praises me, stop pretending to be modest, okay?

Please tell others confidently, "my kid is great," okay?

04

the words written by my mother

this is a letter from my child, which I finished reading in tears.

to tell you the truth, if she hadn't been unable to help writing to me this time, I really had no idea that my repeated unintentional actions had brought so much trouble and so much harm to the child.

in China, there is a word called "where", which means "modesty with Chinese characteristics". When others praise their children, the word pops up unconsciously from the mouth of many parents. I am no exception.

like all parents, I feel that my child is excellent, but every time she is praised, I can't help but respond with "modesty" and "courtesy".

in fact, when I see that my child has made certain progress and achievements, I am happier than anyone else, but when outsiders always say a few words of duplicity, they do not realize that because of these words, my child has fallen into deep self-doubt.

I can't help remembering that Ni Ping, the host of CCTV, once mentioned the words of my grandmother in "my Grandma": don't be reluctant to boast, and the sesame will become a watermelon.

Yes!

Why am I afraid to praise my children in front of outsiders? I obviously long for her to grow into a big watermelon and harvest a lot of fruits.

after reading the child's letter, it dawned on me.

if the child is compared to a piece of white paper, then the parents' praise and affirmation is that the colorful colors on the white paper can turn the white paper into a beautiful picture.

and the parents' modesty and politeness is just a pair of scissors, which will cut this piece of white paper bit by bit and finally turn it into scraps of paper.

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I think of a concept that someone once said: "ostentatious education" refers to the education of parents, which should be "encouraged in front of others and criticized behind others".

Today, I finally understand this truth:

Smart parents praise their children in front of outsiders.

only stupid parents try their best to criticize their children in front of outsiders.

parents who see the article, please praise their children sincerely!

do not exaggerate or belittle. As a real mother and father, if someone praises your child, please face it calmly and say, "Thank you, my child is great!"

praise your child openly and confidently in front of outsiders, which is the best love and response for your child.

encourage each other.