Middle-aged women, the best way to live, is in these two words.

I have seen a saying on the Internet that women should live like flowers, not only beautiful, but also like unfolded petals, stretched, real and calm.

this is what others envy most.

but in fact, women who get married will devote all their energies to taking care of their families.

in the roles of "wife" and "mother", I give a lot. Because I work too hard, the whole person is less smart.

on the contrary, women who know how to live a good life, while shouldering family responsibilities, also remember to reserve a place for themselves to nourish their hearts and remind themselves that they are worthy of being loved.

while observing their lives, there is no doubt that they have achieved the following points.

01

Romantic yourself

there is a line in the American TV series the Great Mrs. Mercer:

"where is the safest place to hide a woman's private money?"

"of course, on the face and body, no one can see it, and no one can take it away."

although many people laughed after hearing this, at the same time, many women nodded in agreement.

A woman who knows how to romantic herself can find pleasure in her monotonous life.

spending on you is not about having more money or less, but about whether you really make yourself happy.

in the play, Mrs. Mercer and her husband Joey have been married for many years, raising a son and a daughter together.

besides taking care of the children during the day, they also "take care of" the husband.

my husband works in the company during the day and does his favorite monologue show at night, but the audience's love for him has always been very low.

and he is grumpy, there is always a conflict between working hours and acting time, but his wife can always help him solve all these contradictions perfectly.

Mrs. Mercer will make a good sirloin and take it to the stand-up show in the evening to "bribe" the staff to ensure that there is still a chance to perform next time.

at the same time, take a taxi to pick him up downstairs from her husband's office to avoid wasting time off work and solve the problem of time conflict.

the husband depends on his wife for a long time and always feels that he does not have the image of a real man, like a "giant baby husband".

Mrs. Mercer and her husband who finished the monologue show

because of this bottom reason, husband Joey cheated on the little secretary in the office, because in the "stupid" secretary, Joey greatly satisfied his "need" and found long-lost male self-esteem.

the grieving Mrs. Mercer lived through those days by drinking.

fortunately, soon she began to wake up.

after the divorce, although she has no family to rely on, she can still make herself happy.

she still dresses up carefully every day, and on a sound talk show, she finds out what she really likes.

it turned out that what she said could be liked by so many people, so she chose to work in a department store during the day and perform on stage at night.

after returning to being single, Mrs. Mercer is still positive, tender, sober and independent.

A woman who knows how to be romantic and makes herself happy will not be knocked down by life.

02

the netizen is an ordinary woman with a graduate degree, and her husband and she are both highly educated talents from the countryside.

the husband graduated with a doctor's degree, and both husband and wife have stable jobs.

after graduation, through the joint efforts of both sides, they successfully bought a house and settled down in Hangzhou. The kind of poverty they wanted to get rid of in their childhood gradually watered down here, and their life became stable and smooth.

because my husband has been living in poverty since childhood, the nature of "honesty" has been deep-rooted and slightly dull for more than 30 years.

but for this reason, there has been little communication between husband and wife.

netizens feel that their marriage is always less intimate and gentle than that of a normal couple.

she once communicated her personal feelings with her husband and wanted him to pay more attention to himself and chat with him more.

the shadow of many middle-aged couples is reflected in this story, because of the daily trivia and neglecting the emotional communication between husband and wife.

although life goes on as usual, I always feel that some good care is missing.

A message at the bottom of the story has won the approval and reply of many women:

if your husband doesn't know how to buy you flowers, you have to buy them yourself; if your husband doesn't travel with you, you can find a friend to accompany you.

Life is your own. Even if you are married, you can be kind to yourself.

I think so.

it is up to you to decide what marriage looks like, and you can also control the atmosphere of the family.

Let yourself live a rich and consistent life, feel at ease, and live a happy life, just like a water lily, beautiful and generous, moist and bright.

03

stretch yourself

Wallis, a famous physicist, once said:

this stereotype can also be called stereotype, which is imprisoned and restricted because of the consensus of the outside world.

Zhang Defen, a writer in the field of psychology, was particularly afraid of readers knowing the fact of her divorce for a time.

there was a lot of inner activity, and at that time she was very formal and wrapped herself for fear of showing something strange.

once she went to class, and the course needed to be matched with a reader as a case study.

because it is a course in intimacy, the two must tell the truth about themselves without reservation.

Zhang Defen

this makes Zhang Defen very difficult, becauseBecause she doesn't know how she will react if she doesn't know how to tell the reader about her marriage.

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is it shock, disappointment, sympathy and comfort?

before I said, I had a lot of twists and turns in my heart, but when the reader heard her story, he simply said, "will you continue to write the book?"

hearing this answer, Zhang Defen was relieved that readers were more concerned about whether they could read their books in the future than the breakdown of their marriage.

from beginning to end, I think too much after all.

because of this confusion and worry, I can't let go of life at all, and I bind myself.

as she said in the first article "We will meet Love and Solitude":

"most of the time we suffer because we care too much about what other people think. This not only consumes a lot of energy in the appearance of posturing, but also causes a lot of inconvenience in one's own life.

you are in charge of your own life, and you don't have to care too much about what other people think. After all, you have to live for yourself, not for others. "

when people reach middle age, they should also have the courage to break the bondage of their thoughts and open themselves bravely, sincerely and bravely.

is like a narcissistic plum blossom, even if not many people see it, but also to live their own wonderful.

04

unbind yourself

Please answer 1988 is a TV series full of family tenderness, and its popularity has never abated over the years.

one of the scenes in which the leopard lady went back to her mother's house was impressive and worthy of reflection.

on this day, Ms. Panther needs to go back for a few days because she received a call from her mother's home.

because I was too worried that my husband and two sons could not take care of themselves, I gave thousands of instructions before leaving.

put the food in the refrigerator and mark it in detail, so that what you eat every day is clearly arranged.

the leopard lady told her husband and her two sons

in addition, the positions of the laundry and cold medicine for the two sons were repeated over and over again.

because they are too worried, the family will not be able to adapt to the days when they are away from home, so they have made all the preparations they can think of in advance.

but in fact, a few days after the leopard lady left home, the three can take good care of themselves.

even if the food is not so rich and the house is not so tidy, you can still have enough to eat and dress cleanly.

so as the hostess of the house, it is better to give yourself a "holiday" once in a while. During the "vacation", you are no longer a wife or a mother, and you no longer have to worry about family chores.

enjoy the freedom of daily vacancy and breathe the air of joy and delight.

during the "holiday", it can also make the family realize that it is not easy to take care of the family.

05

invest in yourself

Wealth creation

"Don't save money in your 20s and spend at least half of your money on self-investment!"

No matter what age you are, investing in yourself is always the highest rate of return.

"how do mothers have the ability to make money?"

the author of this book, a mother of three, was very strapped for money in the early years.

in order to improve his life, the author sold lemonade and worked as a babysitter before getting married.

after getting married, look for all kinds of part-time jobs online, such as writing on the website, selling e-books and pamphlets, etc.

invest the money you earn again, let yourself learn and arm your brain.

and constantly accumulate practical experience and let yourself try all kinds of jobs, which is of great help to starting a business and writing books in the later stage.

she always believes that women must know how to invest in themselves, and that growth is far more important than success.

Liang Wendao also said:

take the initiative to broaden your horizons, so that you can not be limited to immediate interests, but also improve your cognitive ability to people and things.

finally, when we are really strong, like a sunflower, we actively choose not to do what we do not want to do; that is the real freedom and the most comfortable way to live.

Bi Shumin wrote in clenching your right hand:

"years bring me suffering, as well as sobriety and calmness.

time takes away youth from women, but it also gives the most precious precipitation and wisdom.

time leaves traces on women, not only wrinkles, but also broad-minded state of mind and extraordinary strength. "

calmly pursue what you desire, stay sunny, accept it modestly, and then change it.

Robbie Ludwig, PhD in Psychology, said in her book "the Best time is now": "Middle age is the true golden age for women."

they can be both low-key and elegant, and they can return to their families and strengthen themselves.

always keep in mind that you deserve all the good things in the world, so that you can grow into the most beautiful appearance on an ordinary day.