Leave some loopholes for others (this article is priceless)

Such a story is recorded in Lu's Spring and Autumn period.

one day, Shang Tang went out hunting, followed his subordinates to spread the net on all sides, and prayed that all birds and animals would fall into the net.

when Shang Tang saw this, he ordered people to put it away on three sides and said:

so "open three sides". When the princes around him heard that he was quite benevolent, they chose to form an alliance with him one after another.

as the saying goes, when the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon gains, it loses.

there is no need to be extreme in everything. Leaving some loopholes for others at the right time is a person's greatest wisdom in dealing with the world.

01

work with others, leave some loopholes and gain more

Disciple Proverbs, as the saying goes:

when water is clear, there is no fish. Cooperating with people and making profits appropriately will not only capture the hearts of the people, but also reap longer-term cooperation and achieve win-win results because of the magnanimity of "concession".

concession seems to be a kind of abandonment, but in fact it can win the hearts of the people and gather wealth.

Li Ka-shing, a famous industrialist, knows this well.

on one occasion, when Li Ka-shing discussed with the directors how many shares the company would take, he made it clear that

the directors debated his proposal endlessly, and the sons who were brought to learn how to do business came forward.

the eldest son Victor Li said:

the youngest son Richard Li also hurriedly said: "Yes, only fools get 9% of the shares!"

the words of the two children amused everyone. Li Ka-shing smiled and said,

"son, this is a lot of knowledge in business. It is not as simple as 1: 1. If you want to make a fortune with 11% of the shares, you will not be able to make a fortune, but if you only take 9% of the shares, the money will continue to flow."

facts have proved that Li Ka-shing's decision is correct.

"the Li family takes 10% less of all profits" has become the impression of many partners and even competitors on Li Ka-shing.

over time, everyone is willing to cooperate with him, and good projects will go to Li Ka-shing first.

the benefit given to others has been invisibly multiplied several times and returned to him.

if you want to get, you must give it first.

work with others, give way to profits appropriately, and leave some loopholes. Although you have suffered immediate losses, you have won long-term benefits.

as Gao Zongxian said:

taking a step back is wisdom, and giving way to one step is a blessing, and those loopholes left to others are roads paved for themselves.

02

friends make friends, leave some loopholes, friendship is more reliable

psychologist Elliot Aronson said:

between friends, everything is strong, always competitive, will eventually push the relationship to a dead end.

this is the friendship between Yan Ying and Zhang ailing.

in this friendship, Yan Ying shows people everywhere with a high profile. When Zhang ailing's feelings are not going well, she shows off that "even a crappy Japan can make a lot of money" and "there are shipowners pursuing it as soon as they arrive in Japan."

Zhang ailing took her to visit her friend Hu Shishi. She satirized:

finally, the two changed from "handkerchiefs" to strangers.

writer Cy Johnson said:

the best way to dispel resentment is to know how to show weakness to friends.

Liu Xiu, Emperor Guangwu of the Eastern Han Dynasty, was a master at showing weakness.

he has a good friend named Yan Ziling. When they were in school, they had a deep relationship.

after Liu Xiucheng became emperor, instead of showing the appearance of "high monarch and low courtiers" in front of Yan Ziling, he became more approachable.

once, without waiting for Yan Ziling to visit, Liu Xiu guessed that the old friend was losing his temper, so he took the initiative to visit Yan Ziling.

Liu Xiu not only ignored Yan Ziling's "faux pas", but also smiled and reached out to touch the other person's belly in an attempt to amuse him.

even after Yan Ziling refused to enter the imperial court, while respecting the other party's choice, he condescended to sleep with the other party, recalled the past, and warmed up his feelings.

the so-called bosom friend is nothing more than constant management and irrigation. Only in this way can our friendship be more secure.

leave some loopholes for friends and learn to show weakness. It seems to be a little "careful", but it is actually the glue of friendship.

03

Love partner, leaving some loopholes, the relationship lasts longer

speaking of partners, there is no better example of love than Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang.

falling in love at first sight and similar values, their marriage contains almost all the imagination of the world about marriage.

however, at the beginning of the marriage, they also had friction.

once, when the two were on the boat returning home, Qian Zhongshu mispronounced a French vocabulary. Yang Jiang, who has always been strict with her study, immediately pointed out, "you have misread bon'."

the knowledgeable Qian Zhongshu was not aware of the problem and denied it.

but Yang Jiang did not intend to let go of this question, and went on to say:

perhaps because in public, or because of the lack of face of the newlyweds, Qian Zhongshu became emotional after hearing this.

one comes and goes, and a debate about pronunciation turns into a mutual "attack".

the "war" did not stop until the two invited a French lady from the same ship and proved Yang Jiang right.

but the victorious Yang Jiang is not as happy as she thought, and the defeated Qian Zhongshu is also in low spirits.

at this time, they suddenly realized that the quarrel was boring and could not change the pronunciation.

moreover, not giving an inch in a relationship is a poison that hurts one's feelings.

after the two made up, they agreed to "disagree with each other and not to seek common ground" in the future.

from then on, when things go wrong, it is easy to discuss and let go of each other's minor shortcomings, which has become the main theme of their marriage, so they get more happiness.

and Qian Zhongshu, with tolerance, will also cook breakfast for Yang Jiang. After hearing Yang Jiang say that it is "the sweetest breakfast in life", she contracted all the breakfasts for decades.

Marriage is a combination of two people, fighting for strength everywhere, and it is not good for both parties.

compared to tit-for-tat, appropriate concessions and tolerance of shortcomings is the only way to make a marriage lasting.

just as a line in the Simpsons says:

04

it is warmer to leave some loopholes among relatives

the Book of Rites says:

as time goes by, the concern of relatives for us will be regarded as superfluous, and the advice given to us will be regarded as outdated.

sometimes, it is more important than perfection that we do not have to be perfect in front of our loved ones, and it is more important to be stupid and leave them a gap to be needed.

I saw @ Zhang Yu share such a story on the Internet:

because he is very busy at work, he seldom visits his parents' home. The only communication is the advice from his parents on Wechat:

"remember to eat no matter how busy you are at work, otherwise you will hurt your stomach."

Wanna shop stunning flattering formal gowns for big stomach and show off your pulchritude? Buy the dress you always dreamed of now.

"drink less wine in social activities, too much alcohol harms the liver."

"Don't stay up late, your health will collapse."

with each message sent, there are various health articles.

maybe once a person is busy, he tends to be grumpy. Every time he receives such a message, he will yell back:

"you know what, this is obviously bullshit."

"I'm busy, so I don't have time to read this article."

"am I so old that I still don't know how to take care of myself?"

for a long time, parents' concern has gone from 10 messages a day, to 3 messages a day, to 1 message a day, and finally to the dialog box where the last conversation stayed a few days ago.

in this way, his parents were silent and he got his wish, but he was not as relaxed as he thought, and he always felt empty.

after thinking it over, once, when he came home in the evening, he sent a message to his parents: "Mom, I have been suffering from insomnia recently. Do you know any treatment for insomnia?"

before long, his mother sent him several voice messages that took tens of seconds. The last sentence was:

that day, he was silent for a long time. From then on, he no longer rejected his parents'"nagging". Instead, he would exaggerate and respond: "Mom, you are so awesome!" that method worked so well last time! "

parents at the other end of the screen will be happy all day every time they see this sentence.

you know, although they are a little older than we are, their love for us only increases.

their feelings for us are stronger than we thought, and they should be a little stupid to make sure that their care and love are "needed".

leave some loopholes for others, that is, leave a gap for yourself to shine into the sun.

just like fishermen fishing, they often choose fishing nets with large mesh, leaving some loopholes to save small fish, so that they can catch fish for a long time.

in cooperation, leave some loopholes and know how to make profits in order to achieve win-win results;

in friendship, leave some loopholes and know how to show weakness before you can be worried about forever;

in marriage, leave some loopholes and know how to yield before you can be happy;

in your family, leave some loopholes and know how to compromise in order to be intimate and harmonious.