Know people without judging people, keep quiet about things, and don't argue about reasons.

01

knowing people but not judging people is self-cultivation

once saw a sad video:

there was a company executive in the men's locker room and saw a male colleague, dressed in women's clothes and hairpins, chatting with people on video.

the supervisor immediately took out his mobile phone and made a video and posted it on the social networking site.

it wasn't long before everyone in the company knew about it, and many people began to speculate maliciously, pointing fingers at the male colleague.

"Shenjing disease."

"attract people's eyeballs."

"he's not a transvestite, is he?"

.

rumors sprang up, and these negative comments seriously affected his life and work.

but the truth is that the male colleague's sister died in an accident many years ago, and his mother was so sad and sick that he didn't recognize him and only remembered his sister.

so, in order to make his mother happy, he dressed up as his sister and had a video chat with his mother every day.

most of the time, we label a person with just one photo, one detail, one rumor.

but I didn't think that prejudices and misunderstandings arise from this invisible.

in the movie "sad against the River", the girl Yi Yao said:

Yi Yao's mother massaged the guests at home because she was forced by life. as a result, after the massage, the guests wiped themselves with Yi Yao's towels. Yi Yao got sexually transmitted diseases.

after it was known by a classmate, it became an open secret of the school. Yi Yao became a bad girl in the eyes of her classmates, bearing the most vicious evaluation.

even if a girl was killed later, she was believed to be the murderer.

in the midst of everyone's accusations and abuse, Yi Yao could not stand all kinds of remarks and finally chose to jump into the sea to commit suicide.

there is a famous "iceberg theory" in psychology, which says that what we can see is only a small part of the surface, while a larger part is hidden at a deeper level.

Don't judge a person lightly, what you see is not necessarily the truth, what you know is not necessarily the whole truth.

if you have not experienced other people's lives, you are not qualified to tell them what to do.

02

the governor is kind

as the old saying goes, "it is easier to see through and not to break through."

people with high EQ know how to give others a step down.

in the streets of Paris, France, a couple saw a young man standing in front of an automatic beverage machine with several coins in his hand, looking anxiously from side to side.

the couple understood the young man's embarrassment, so the wife wanted to teach him. The husband grabbed her and winked at her and said loudly, "wife, you're thirsty. I'll buy you a drink."

the husband went to the automatic beverage machine, looked at it and said, "Honey, how do you use this thing?"

the wife immediately understood her husband's intention. she strode forward and carefully taught her husband how to use it.

in this way, the kind-hearted husband and wife not only preserve the self-esteem of the young people, but also help them out.

people who are really kind-hearted help people out of their embarrassing predicament quietly, making people feel like a spring breeze.

painter Zhang Daqian once painted a picture of a green willow singing cicada, which shows a big cicada leaning over a willow branch with its head down to fly.

one day, Qi Baishi saw this picture and said to Zhang Daqian:

When you buy our petite wedding guest dresses, you are on the right way to look cool and trendy. Without delaying, click to enjoy the amazing shopping experience.

"Mr. Daqian's painting is very vivid. However, when I used to draw cicadas, I once asked a farmer for advice. According to him, the heads of cicadas are all facing up, and there are very few cases of them facing down.

of course, this is only the farmer's side of the story, and I haven't seen it myself, and it's not necessarily right. "

later, Zhang Daqian took the opportunity of sketching in Qingcheng Mountain to observe carefully outside the house and found that the cicadas on the trees were all head up.

when he came back, he told Qi Baishi about his observation. Qi Baishi smiled gently and said, "I have observed it, too!"

it turned out that Qi Baishi had long known that the heads of cicadas were facing up, but he was afraid that Zhang Daqian would not be able to save face, so he deliberately said that he had heard it from a farmer.

truly educated people know how to compare their hearts with each other and not to embarrass each other.

respect for others is far more important than truth.

some people say, "to see through is wisdom, but not to say it is kind."

the highest goodness is that a person can always think of others quietly and take into account the decency of others.

03

knowledge does not argue, it is wisdom

Zhou Guoping said: "Life should have uncompetitive wisdom."

people who are really smart know how to be reasonable, not to argue, and to forgive others.

one day, when he was studying chess games at home, someone came to visit and said, "I hear you are the most knowledgeable person in the world. I want to ask you for advice."

the chess player asked, "what question would you like to ask?"

the man said, "can you see how many pieces there are in the chess box?"

the chess player smiled and said, "181 sunspots, 180 albinos, a total of 361."

unexpectedly, the man took out a chess piece hidden in his hand and said mockingly, "No!" There are only 360. "

chess playerTen percent of the students felt that the other side insulted the teacher, so they quarreled with each other angrily.

the chess player was silent for a moment and said, "it's really my incompetence."

the visitor laughed and said proudly, "I beat you." Then he left contentedly.

the student said angrily, "this man is clearly looking for trouble."

the chess player smiled and said, "if you know he's being unreasonable, why bother?" If he is not satisfied, he will not leave for three days and nights, but a waste of time. "

when you meet unreasonable people, instead of spending time and energy arguing, it is better to spend your time on something meaningful.

different levels, there is no need to say much; cognition is different, there is no need to argue.

there is a cloud in Zhuangzi: "well frogs can't talk about the sea, summer worms can't talk about ice."

talk to frogs at the bottom of the well about the vastness of the sea and talk about winter ice and snow with summer worms. It's all casting pearls before swine.

Carnegie once said:

I think so.

A long argument will only hurt both sides, so you might as well stop there and laugh it off.

people with rich hearts never care about right or wrong, let alone argue with others, and will make concessions lightly.

sometimes silence is more powerful than argument. Silence is maturity, silence is wisdom.

04

as the old saying goes, "many languages, many failures".

know how to shut up at the right time, not in your own way, to measure other people's lives, and not to be swayed by other people's words.

some people say:

this is true.

those who are really cultured leave room for people to speak, make things convenient for people, and have the mind of accepting all rivers.

knowing people without judging others is a commendable upbringing;

the governor is quiet and kind-hearted;

knowing reason without arguing is the wisdom to make concessions at the right time.

May you and I both live a thorough life, calmly focus on inner self-cultivation, become a better self, and achieve a wonderful life.

share with you.