It's late at night. Say something you've always wanted to say.

"say ahead"

some people say that there are two reasons why you can't sleep, either because you are dissatisfied with today or because you are afraid of tomorrow.

and I probably have both. I waste the whole day on all kinds of things, including watching movies and playing games. It's 2 o'clock in the evening, and I usually lie in bed and fall asleep. But tonight, I am still sitting in front of the computer writing messy, because I found that I have not had a good chat with you for a long time, always writing some funny words and personal opinions to muddle through, so I made up my mind tonight. in the middle of the night to push a messy picture and text message that would have been pushed a year ago, writing about my recent feelings.

"lonely, lonely."

I originally wanted to find someone to go out for a drink and chat tonight, but I found that I couldn't find anyone at all. College is not like high school, you may have countless partners, but there are few friends who can pull out for a drink for no reason.

and I have none.

it makes me sad to think of this. I find that my interactions with others for nearly two years are highly utilitarian, whether it's the questions I ask or our discussions on a topic. I all hope to bring me some "benefits" at the end of the conversation, either self-improvement or writing inspiration.

so even though my Wechat friends have grown from more than 150 freshmen to nearly 500 now, the best friends who usually ask for dinner are still a few of the 150 in the beginning.

it's lonely, but it's useful if you don't deny it. But no matter how useful it is, at some point, I still want to do something useless, such as talking for no reason.

"100 vitamins"

so far, we have received a total of 200 yuan for "vitamin milk" because of chaos, which is enough for us to buy 100 vitamins. Yesterday, disorderly and disorganized launched the "reward" function provided by Wechat for the first time, and it finally came to an end.

I remember the first time I put on the QR code, a lot of people scolded me backstage and argued with me. Because they think that liking my article does not mean giving me money, and my behavior of asking for a dollar in the article is reminiscent of beggars wandering near the bus stop. Some friends who are also Subscription account said to me like this:

"I'm not like you. I don't need that dollar."

I argued with him, I said that a dollar is not a dollar, it is a kind of consciousness, a sense of respect for the works of others.

he said that this consciousness is good, but it cannot be cultivated in our school. But today, a total of 200 people have given their "one dollar" in disorder, which is less than 1/10 of my fans, but I think it is much more than I expected.

what does this two hundred yuan mean? It means I have the motivation to keep going.

I once thought of giving up, turning chaos into a marketing number, sending you the latest news from Dongguan workers every day, copying and re-typesetting and pushing any news as soon as possible. If any star comes to our school, I will immediately go back to the name of Baidu star in our dormitory, and then copy it into chaos. Because most of you simply don't care whether the article is original or not, as long as it is a hot topic around you, you are willing to forward it to your circle of friends to show your identity as an "onlooker". And many people who don't know why will become disorganized fans like the tide after seeing those tweets. Then I began to collect money to sell advertisements or cooperate with others on some tourism projects.

Are you agitated to acquire formal gowns for wedding trinidad and be unique in a crowd? Pick our superior quality and fantastic options at low prices.

Why do I have such an idea? It makes money because of the marketing number, and it costs hundreds of yuan for a random advertisement, and if I had that few hundred yuan, I wouldn't have to spend three afternoons every week delivering newspapers to the school's mailroom. I don't have to go to McDonald's on weekends to face fried and chicken wings for eight hours. I can even eat Hyatt's buy one get one free, take my girlfriend to Wanda to see IMAX and eat her favorite Korean fried chicken.

but I can't do it, and I don't want to turn clutter into a dispensable marketing account. So whenever I see someone praising my article and giving me a dollar, I add a little confidence that I didn't have. Because I've always wanted to stand up and make money like Jiang Wen said. I hope that one day, I will be able to laugh at those marketing accounts instead of envy them.

but slowly, I believe I will also get closer and closer to this goal.

because I have learned a lot of powerful people through chaos, such as I will go to Zhuhai in a few days to find members of their LAB self-Media Alliance, as well as X bacteria (Oba, Zhou Lin, Haofeng, Maomao), journalists who are super compelling in my eyes, brother Fanshuo, who I interviewed irrationally, Mr. Liang Xiaozhi who said to me, "I support the company, but also for writing." Brother Xiaoying of NANA, brother Jiao Jiao Chaozhao, who introduced me to practice, gave me teacher Zhou Ping with a score of 95.

maybe all of you mentioned above will read this article, or maybe not, but please allow me to secretly say to all of you in the middle of the night, thank you.

Tonight, I transferred an article from Zhihu Daily to my moments entitled "can I be a full-time writer without money?" "there is a passage that Zhang Jiawei said:

if you have no money, you can write something. As long as you are not afraid of hunger and thirst. Afraid of hunger and thirst, go to make money, and then continue to write.

if you really like it, you naturally know how to continue. Their own dreams, they have to rely on their own suffering to face. Throughout the ages, except for a few rich families that can provide for the children of rich families to write, other people have not tried so hard to maintain their ideals.

well, I'll do the wheat.Dang Lao, delivering newspapers, writing plays, putting QR codes, and opening the reward function are all for the sake of continuing to write. But it's not that great. I just want to do something I like all the time, or I'll hate myself if I get old. Just like when I saw half of the Outlaws of the Marsh, I returned it to the library, and I would pinch my thigh with my hands while I regretted: "if you didn't grit your teeth, you would have finished reading it." Now the other half is in vain! "

so sometimes people still have to be like Jack Ma: "Dreams still have to be there, what if they come true?"

ha, what if I do?