It is comfortable to get along, and it is warm without words.
Good morning, accompany you to read.
I don't know if you have such an experience: some people, you try your best to find a topic to talk to him, not only do not make the relationship closer, but put yourself in an awkward dilemma.
and some people?
you can be completely relaxed in front of him, without trying to please or struggle to maintain, even if you are speechless.
in fact, what is really suitable for you is not those who can't even reach on tiptoe, and a really good relationship doesn't require painstaking efforts to maintain.
after going through half of my life and going through ups and downs, I just realized that the best way for people to get along with each other is to stand side by side with each other.
01
if the heart knows each other, the writer Gorky once said: "the best friend is the kind of person who doesn't like to talk much and can communicate with you silently."
I fully agree with this.
this is the case with a good relationship. You don't have to pretend to be pleasantries or deliberately warm up. Every breath and breath is naturally comfortable.
this is the way the leading star Zhou Ruchang gets along with his good friend Zhang Boju.
when Zhou Ruchang was at school in Yanjing, he often went to the home of his friend Zhang Boju to study.
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when the two meet, they never greet each other politely, but each find a corner to read their own books, during which time there is no communication.
even if Zhou Ruchang wants to go back to school, he doesn't say hello, Zhang Boju won't get up, and there are no polite farewell or farewell words between the two.
although they get along lightly, they have deep affection.
in the five years of their first acquaintance, the two met every day and have never been in touch since then.
when Zhang Boju encounters any antique treasures, he always thinks of Zhou Ruchang at the first time. During festivals, Zhou Ruchang always goes to Zhanchun Garden, just to ease Zhang Boju's feelings of loneliness.
this is such a comfortable relationship that makes two people 20 years apart know each other and make friends for a lifetime.
someone on the Internet asked such a question: "what is the ultimate friendship of comfort?"
there is a deep answer to my heart: "it is probably: when two people are together, they don't feel embarrassed not to talk, and they don't feel superfluous to talk nonsense."
in fact, good friendship is not noisy, can communicate with each other without much words and politeness, and all tacit understanding and affection are self-evident.
it is enough to simply look at each other and smile.
it is important for friends to get along with each other, as well as the comfort of silence.
in this life, many people are met, but few can stay; many friends talk with each other, but few friends can be silent together.
so, if you are lucky enough to meet, you must cherish it!
02
if we are close to each other, the poet Gu Cheng once wrote in the poem "in front of the door": "the grass is knot its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, we stand, do not speak, it is very beautiful."
that's what a good relationship is. Standing together, you can gain all kinds of freedom without words.
since the media author @ floating cat has mentioned the state of getting along with his girlfriend many times, which is enviable.
the two of them have a lot to say when they are together.
but two people prefer to stay together quietly, no one will find words and deliberately break the atmosphere of silence.
one reads his own book at this end, the other listens to his own music at the other end, occasionally looks up at each other, and engrosses himself in doing his own thing.
there is not a word of communication throughout the whole process, and the world is small and they are the only ones.
is this comfortable mode of getting along, which makes the two people's hearts get closer and smoothly through the itch of seven years, and has become a model of love in the circle of friends.
the more you grow up, the more you find that the best way to fall in love is to be comfortable with silence.
it's tempting to be intimate with everything, but it's really reassuring to be comfortable without speaking.
after all, heartbeat is never the best destination for a relationship.
there are thousands of feelings in the world, but one of my favorite ones is: when you want to talk, you have to respond; when you don't want to talk, you do your own thing, don't interfere with each other, and you're beautiful.
Life is really hard. May you spend your life freely with the person who makes you feel comfortable in silence.
03
the best relationship: get along comfortably and feel warm without words
writer Zhang Jiajia once shared such a story in "there is a commissary in Yunbian":
Liu Shisan is a person who is afraid of the cold spot, so no matter who he is with, he will try to be very active.
every time there is silence, he tries hard to find a topic to break the deadlock, which often makes the situation more awkward and the whole person on pins and needles.
until once, when he and Qiu Qiu and Cheng Shuang met for a picnic, no one wanted to talk. The three men leaned aside and surrounded the stove, staring at the blue flame of the alcohol stove licking the bottom of the pot and listening to the sizzling of the gas tank.
although they were silent, the three of them were very relaxed and leisurely. Liu Shisan felt silent for the first time and could be so comfortable.
at that moment, he suddenly realized that a comfortable relationship between people can be silent all the time, or they can talk at any time.
being with someone who is comfortable with each other is like putting your foot into the right shoe and the key in the corresponding keyhole.
in front of them, when you want to talk, you don't have to hide it.Throw up quickly; when you don't want to talk, you don't have to find a topic. It's naturally comfortable to sit around.
teacher Lin Qingxuan once said, "the best expression is silence, not language."
what a penetrating statement, many things in life are difficult to tell to others one by one.
in many cases, a silent companion is enough to resist a long period of loneliness and warm a lonely heart.
I have heard a saying: "the best encounter in the world is not on the road, but on the heart; the best relationship is not in everything, but in panic."
not without reason.
when I walk, I find that only when I get along comfortably can I never get tired of being with each other for a long time.
so don't bother to please, and stop wronging yourself for fear of losing.
the most important thing to get along with others is to feel at ease, not a burden.
it is better to be happy than to please others.
May you be warm, quiet and happy with people who are comfortable with you for the rest of your life.
Zhou Guoping
writer Zhou Guoping once wrote in "broken sentences and short chapters": if you feel extra relaxed and feel real lessons in relaxation, I'm sure you must have met your kind.
that's true. The more you need to please, the more fragile you are; the relationships that make you squeaky and awkward are all wrong.
if the heart knows each other, silence is tacit understanding; if affection is close to each other, silence is pity.
A good relationship, which seems lonely and silent, is actually worth a thousand words.
so don't be aggrieved to cater to yourself, and don't bother to break the deadlock.
We will not be alone after all. May you choose to walk with people who are comfortable with each other, join hands with wind and rain, and spend the fleeting years together!