If the pattern is bigger, life will go smoothly.

what is a pattern?

I have heard a vivid analogy: "standing at the foot of the mountain, there is garbage everywhere; standing at the top of the mountain, you can get a panoramic view of the beautiful scenery."

it is true that height determines depth and pattern determines the outcome.

as soon as the pattern of people is large, they will not sink in the trivialities of life, and all they can see is the quiet appearance of the years.

A person with a large chest often has these three characteristics. Do you have any of these characteristics?

01

attitude before interests

there is a sentence written in the Analects of Confucius: "the gentleman is metaphorical to righteousness, the villain is to profit."

people who really have a pattern will always show three points of shrewdness and retain seven points of sincerity in the face of interests.

they always believe that there is a fixed amount of money in life, and that people can be good, but not shady.

in A Dream of Red Mansions, the image of Wang Xifeng has always been criticized by the world.

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she lives in Jia's mansion and is in charge of the size of the family's affairs. She could have enjoyed the preferential treatment all the time.

however, her greed has no end.

in order to borrow money to earn interest, she deducts other people's monthly silver at will and collects bribes everywhere.

the Jia mansion is not a small household either. over the past year, the amount of money, large and small, has passed through the hands of Wang Xifeng alone, not less than 102000.

after forcing second Sister you to death, she not only did not apologize at all, but also took away her belongings.

the ridiculous and sad thing is that even though Wang Xifeng calculated all her life, she ended up with nothing in her pocket.

if the pattern of a person is too small, it is tantamount to laying a scourge for himself for the sake of immediate interests.

the more open the pattern is, the more people will understand: instead of struggling in the whirlpool of interests, it is better to let nature take its course and give the soul a short rest.

money is not only the necessity of survival, but also the touchstone of human nature. You can have more money in your passbook, but you should stick to the bottom line in your heart.

02

the demeanor in the details

Wenxu Yamamoto once said: "any change is not sudden, but a little choice by myself."

I deeply agree.

A person's greatest ability and deepest upbringing are hidden in the details.

I always admire the way the writer Ba Jin is a man.

A few years ago, Binbin, the son of Ba Jin's friend, was diagnosed with a terminal heart attack. Out of concern for his best friend, Ba Jin decided to go to Shanghai with his family to help.

during the treatment of Binbin, Ba Jin visited many times and was considerate to the children.

but during every visit, Ba Jin, even though she was very concerned, never asked her friends about Binbin's illness.

all he does is hold his friend's hand silently and accompany him quietly.

although birth, aging, sickness and death are natural, for Ba Jin's friends, the pain will be deepened every time they talk about their child's illness to others.

and Ba Jin's silence and companionship is undoubtedly the greatest accomplishment and comfort to the children's parents.

later, in the face of thanks from friends, Ba Jin just calmly said: "nothing, I just happen to be free to accompany you."

when I happened to be free, Ba Jin hid her tiredness and concern behind her and gave her friends enough dignity.

some people are kind to you and want to say it a thousand times, while others are nice to you but quietly impeccable about the details.

Napoleon once said: "know how to think of others, can really stand in other people's position to see things, the world is yours."

you will find that those people with extraordinary patterns in life are always able to know without asking, see through and say nothing.

No matter how good the relationship is, they will not lose their balance, and no matter how big it is, they will not be out of order. This is not only a kind of great wisdom, but also a kind of rare penetration.

see the details and attach importance to small things in order to win the hearts of the people and enlarge the pattern.

03

as Mr. Lin Yutang said, "A person with a clean heart, clear thinking, no superfluous emotions and delusions will bring sense of security to people."

people, always lose their temper when something happens, and repent when things are too late.

by contrast, those who can still grasp the yardstick in a quarrel have not only EQ, but also pattern.

the marriage experience of host Kou Naixin has given many people a wake-up call.

once, she and her husband happened because of a little thing.Had a quarrel.

Kou Naixin is proud of her character. When she found herself at a disadvantage by quarrelling, she became impulsive and picked out her husband's sore spot.

"which one of you is worthy of me? do you know that you are second-married, secondhand, and not worthy of me at all!"

as soon as the words were spoken, the husband bowed his head, didn't say a word, and turned to pack his bags.

Kou Naixin realized that she had spoken too much and hurriedly tried to save it.

the husband replied coldly, "you know, Nai Xin, some words can't be said."

Yes, the last thing a person should be is to lose the happiness of his whole life in order to win the present quarrel.

Zhang Jiajia said: "the world is full of traps, and anger will lead you to the worst."

the movie "the Grandmaster" accurately summarizes the three realms of the pattern: "see yourself, see heaven and earth, and see sentient beings."

people who have a big pattern do not lose themselves for small gains, keep a sense of moderation in front of sentient beings, and tolerate magnanimity between heaven and earth.

May you and I both cultivate character, achieve patterns, and become better ourselves for the rest of our lives.