I like a lighter relationship.

Cai Kangyong once said:

once we always thought that enthusiasm is the magic weapon to maintain a relationship.

when we get deeper into the world and suffer losses, we realize that

when dealing with all relationships, we must stop with enough and never lose our measure.

in this hot and dry world, I advise you to be a colder person and treat the people around you a little less.

01

excessive enthusiasm is a disaster

Chen Guo wrote such a sentence in "good Solitude":

it is true.

between people, no matter how good the relationship is, you should hold it.

too much enthusiasm and too much concern can be counterproductive.

see such a story on Zhihu.

A netizen's home needs to be decorated. When her best friend knew about it, she volunteered to help.

when visiting the building materials market, her best friend enthusiastically explained to netizens the quality and effect of various materials.

her best friend asked her to pretend to be modern and simple, and she must have a cloakroom in order to look stylish.

because they live with their parents, netizens don't want a cloakroom. When netizens try to explain to their girlfriends the style and layout they want, their girlfriends give negative opinions without even thinking about it:

"the style you want is not suitable. You have to do what I say. I have more experience than you."

then my best friend began to describe the location of the furniture to netizens, and gave her own opinions on the color of the sofa and the design and color of the wallpaper.

but netizens simply can't accept such "enthusiasm" because it's not what she wants it to be, so the two argue.

finally, the two broke up in discord.

in interpersonal communication, people who think they know you very well will unwittingly interfere with your choices and negate your choices.

do not realize that if the yardstick of enthusiasm is not properly grasped, it is easy to be self-defeating and offensive.

Bi Shumin said: "keeping a close distance is the most appropriate way to communicate."

the most harmonious relationship between people is not to impose their own ideas on each other blindly.

those you think are "for his own good" may not really be "for his own good".

excessive concern is an invisible burden that can make people out of breath.

everything goes too far, pay attention to a degree, this kind of relationship is the most comfortable.

02

Don't get to know someone too quickly.

I have seen such a sentence on the Internet: "people who are very enthusiastic when they first meet are often with a purpose."

overzealous "natural familiarity", mostly "pretending" friends, cannot stand the test.

screenwriter Ma Weidu has shared such a story.

A girl who has just entered the workplace made a "good friend" who was familiar with each other just a few days after she entered the job.

she regards her friend as family. They go to work together, eat together every day, and go shopping with each other arm in arm on weekends.

she talks about everything about "good friends", from living habits to some secrets of her family, and sometimes even which colleagues in the company she hates and the embarrassing things that have happened to her leaders.

later, the company came to a big customer, who can sign this customer, not only a generous commission, but also the promotion of the position.

she and that "good friend" both want to sign this big order, but only one person is destined to succeed. None of them would give in and they were all determined to surpass the other. Finally, relying on her own ability, she beat the "good friend" and signed the client.

because of this incident, the original "good friend" completely fell in love with her, and since then, the relationship between the two people is like a stranger.

but the "little secrets" that once witnessed their friendship turned out to be a joke between their weapons of belittling each other and their colleagues in the company.

as the saying goes, "shallow but not deep."

Don't go to the bottom of your heart before you know it; don't tell your heart until you know it.

otherwise, if you tell the whole story unreservedly, you may just get attacked on your own back and abdomen.

Sanmao said: "when young people make friends, they are eager to live and die together day and night."

the establishment of a relationship, you can't rush to your bosom friend at the beginning and trust your heart at will.

do not realize that the indifference after a deep acquaintance is the most hurtful.

Adult relationships are from shallow to deep, and they don't come up with relatives because they know that there will be a long time to come.

03

those who approach you at ten times the speed

will also leave at ten times the speed.

I agree with one sentence:

the relationships of many people seem unbreakable, but they are actually loose sand and disappear at the slightest blow.

there is a netizen on Zhihu who told such a true story about himself.

when he was in his first year of junior high school, his father resigned from the bank that everyone envied and went into business. Unexpectedly, my father's business was in a mess and he was in debt.

in the past, relatives who came to visit their mother for shopping and their father for dinner and drink suddenly disappeared into their lives and did not see anyone during the holidays.

the house that used to be full of guests also became so deserted that my father had to sell the house to pay his debts, and the family was forced to live in a humble tube building.

in order to change the status quo as soon as possible, my father often runs business day and night, so he has to stay with his second aunt and pay his living expenses every month.

No idea. The second aunt, who used to praise him for being sensible, was like a different person, cynical at light and shouting at others. When her child is full of fish and meat, he only has a bowl of Rice Congee pickles.

the days were getting harder and harder, and my father had to sell the family's last house.

Bringing together style with comfort, our banquet dresses black are tailor made to match any occasion. We have a huge selection of cuts and styles to choose from.

before life changes, the house allows a cousin to live temporarily, because without the house, his sister-in-law will not marry him.

who knows, instead of being grateful, the cousin's family scolded their father and dragged on for more than half a year before returning the house to their family.

sometimes, it is not the sincerity, but the interest, that keeps the relationship together.

those who come to flatter you when you are prosperous will also avoid it when you are down and out.

as Yang Jiang said, "only if you are humble, you have the best chance to see the truth of human feelings in the world."

when there is a full moon, everyone is happy, but only when the wind and rain are in flux, can we see clearly the nature of human beings.

time will tell us who is hypocritical and who is sincere in meeting each other.

Don't get too close to anyone.

A good relationship is a gradual and orderly process, rather than a quick start without an end.

04

good feelings, light acquaintances, slow places

Tai Zaizhi wrote in disqualification in the World:

I have deep feelings.

in life, some people can only see from afar but not close; some words can only be said slowly.

if it comes enthusiastically, it may not last for a long time; if it is not far or near, it may not leave the score soon.

No matter what the relationship is, start slowly and get along with each other more slowly.

Friends, light friends, slow time, can last long;

feelings, shallow taste, careful taste, only have aftertaste;

for the rest of my life, may we treat every feeling a little lighter and slower.