"I encourage you to be a cold person."

I like a sentence very much: "I am not talkative or indifferent, but there is no need to talk and laugh at everyone."

in this complicated world, not everyone and everything is worth embracing passionately and affectionately.

because people's energy is limited, your enthusiasm is given to the wrong person, if you use it in the wrong place, you can only hurt yourself in the end.

therefore, instead of blind enthusiasm to maintain superficial prosperity and excitement, it is better to cool down life and be a "cold" person.

01

A little bit of social indifference

there is a passage in "giving you a bullet": "I am actually not withdrawn, I can be said to be cheerful and lively, but most of the time I am lazy and lazy to run a relationship, and sometimes I just love freedom and feel that any relationship will bind me."

this passage is especially suitable for the current state of my friend Tingting.

but before, she wasn't like that.

in the past, she was very sociable and often attended various industry exchange meetings on weekends, adding a bunch of strangers' Wechat to the meetings.

some have comments, and some don't even have comments.

I once advised her: "do you have the energy to add strangers, but not the energy to read books, so as to improve your professional ability?"

Dress to impress in our collection of dress with 3/4 length sleeves lace. We have a huge selection of silhouettes and styles for every taste!

she glanced at me and said, "they are not strangers, they are my contacts. They may come in handy in the future."

but when Tingting has problems with her work and urgently needs to contact other suppliers, no one gives her a helping hand.

in the end, it was her department boss who saved her.

after that, she slowly lost her enthusiasm for socializing.

on weekends, or go to class, or go mountain climbing; after work, or go to read, or go to the gym.

use the time you originally spent socializing to do what you like to do, and your life becomes full and meaningful.

I have heard a saying: "low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude."

you know, when we don't have the ability, resources, and status to match, the connections we make are actually ineffective.

because the essence of networking is the exchange of value, and if you are useful to others, others will be useful to you.

so you might as well put aside your enthusiasm, be "indifferent" to socializing, and spend more time with yourself.

as you become better and stronger, you can also become a beautiful landscape.

02

A little indifference to desire  there is a philosophical saying on the Internet: "Life has a lot of pain, not because you get too little, but because you want too much."

We come into the world, work hard for a living every day, and live a busy and fulfilling life.

but once life is filled with too many desires, life will be agitated and miserable.

I think of my cousin's family, who used to live a very comfortable life in Shijiazhuang, including a house, a car, savings and children.

but my cousin is not satisfied with the present state. She always thinks that the present house is too small and that the children will not be able to squeeze in when they grow up, so they want to change to a bigger house.

but buying a house doesn't mean buying a house. My cousin and brother-in-law borrowed some from relatives, plus the money they saved, and finally got enough down payment.

after this, my cousin found it inconvenient to have only one car at home, so she thought of adding another one.

her brother-in-law couldn't beat her and agreed.

according to their income, they have a tight life after paying off their mortgage and car loan every month, but they can get by.

but in the event of an epidemic, my cousin's income was halved directly, and my cousin was even more miserable and was laid off.

in order to repay the loan every month, my cousin tried to do WeChat business, live broadcast to sell goods, and even set up a stall.

during that time, my cousin often sighed, couldn't sleep anxiously every day, lost a lot of hair, and got mental illness.

in real life, there are many people like cousins who are kidnapped by their own desires.

it is true that we can pursue a higher quality of life, but only if it does not affect our present life.

if your life is disturbed by your desires; if your days are in a mess like a knot of wool.

then stop.

try to control your desires and subtract from life so that you won't be kidnapped by material desires.

as Schopenhauer said, "Happiness is nothing but a temporary pause of desire."

for the rest of your life, you might as well be "indifferent" to your desires, control things a little, and be able to withstand flashy things in order to keep Ching Huan.

03

A little indifference to feelings

there is a good saying: "do not drink more than six points drunk; eat, not more than seven points full; love a person, not more than eight points full."

emotion is sometimes more like a game, in which the one who is more enthusiastic and who loves too much is at a disadvantage.

because love is too full, it is not a good thing to maintain a relationship, and it is possible to easily hurt yourself.

I remember watching a movie starring Cecilia Cheung and Eason Chan when I was a child. The most impressive scene was this scene: Jenny, played by Cecilia Cheung, and Alan, played by Eason Chan, quarreled in the street.

the reason for the quarrel is that the man feels that the woman has to take care of everything for him, which makes him feel very tired and suffocated.

"I didn't ask you to do so much. Why do you always do so much for me?"

"because I love you."

"painA person is not like this, now I just feel hard. "

"what have I done wrong? is it true that the nicer I am to you, the more arrogant you are?"

.

some feelings come to an end, maybe not because they don't love anymore, but because they love too much and too much.

but Huiji will hurt, love is not long, love is too full, it is doomed to be a disaster.

instead of being too hard and enthusiastic about their feelings, it's better to love yourself a little bit.

because love that is too suffocating only makes people want to escape, while moderate "indifference" is to maintain long-term enthusiasm.

appreciate the way father and mother get along in the documentary four Springs.

they often go for a walk and plant flowers together, but more often, they are busy with each other, and no one disturbs the other.

I won't revolve around you all day, and you won't worry about ignoring me. We are independent of each other, but our hearts are connected.

in fact, whether it is love or friendship, there must be a limit to everything, don't be too enthusiastic, be moderately cold.

focus more on yourself and love yourself is the most important thing in the world.

emotion should have the right temperature, too much enthusiasm will only burn others, just right "indifference", may be the most comfortable state.

04

in a program, Tsai Kang-yong said: "I encourage people to be 'cold' people. I don't think being too warm is a good position to maintain a good relationship with others. If you are tied up by the word warm, it will be even harder."

in this noisy world, if you live a little coldly, life will really be different.

A little "indifference" to social interaction, spend more time to improve yourself, you will also become a landscape that others look up to;

A little "indifference" to material things, control excessive material greed, your heart will be richer and more peaceful;

to love others first, you will become more confident and shining.

Life is only a few decades, not all of us are worthy of our heart, and not everything is worth our attention.