Finally, I was tired and understood.

I always thought that I could change my true feelings with my heart, but I found that I was always the one who suffered losses.

I always thought that everyone had a conscience, but found that he was always the one who was treated as a fool.

at this point in my life, I have passed the mountains, seen the water, seen the warmth of the hearts of the people, and also felt the coolness of people's tea.

A lot of disturbances have become a thing of the past.

finally, I am tired and understand.

01

No longer please others

there has been a hot question and answer on Zhihu.

A young man asked, "I try to make others happy every day. I want to make others like me." But for a long time, I found that no one really cared about me, and I became more and more tired. "

someone gave him an incisive answer: "We live to please ourselves, not to please others."

it is said that the last thing a person should do in his life is to please others while neglecting himself.

I think so.

when I was young, I wanted to be liked by everyone, tried to be a good person among friends, and even if I was wronged and suffered, I had to fulfill others.

but how many people understand you? How many people are in your affection?

finally, with more chills, I get it!

as Mr. Yang Jiang said, "the world is your own and has nothing to do with others!"

think about it carefully, there are only a few people who really care about you in life.

people who really care about you will know how to tolerate your shortcomings and imperfections, and there is no need for you to give in and please deliberately.

so why care about other people's opinions and want to be a good person in everyone's heart?

always stare at other people's eyes, and you will lose your way.

if you always please others, you will gradually get lost.

No thankfulness, no attachment, no impermanence of the world and unpredictable hearts of the people can be dealt with calmly.

this is the best gift of time!

02

the entangled things will let go

an ancient philosopher once summed up the troubles of life, with only six words: "I can't let it go, I can't let it go!"

once upon a time, our hearts were often occupied by regret, unwillingness and remorse.

big enough to marry the wrong person, choose the wrong job, and small enough to say the wrong thing and do the wrong thing.

so I often toss and turn in the middle of the night and find it hard to fall asleep, wash my face with tears and repent.

once people think of the things they regret in life, they seem to count the stars in the sky without end.

always wonder if it would be better if I could do it all over again.

but no matter how entangled it is, the time that has passed will never come back!

the road that has been taken cannot be restarted, the choices that have been made have no chance to go back on their promises, and those who have left will leave forever.

there is a famous saying in the ordinary World: "if you don't worry yourself, others can never worry you."

calm down and think that most of the entanglements and troubles in life are actually self-inflicted.

I have read such a story:

there was a young farmer who rowed a small boat to transport agricultural products to the residents of another village.

it was an unbearably hot day, and the farmer was sweating and miserable.

he rowed the boat anxiously, hoping to finish the delivery task so that he could get home before dark.

suddenly, the farmer found a small boat coming towards him. The two ships were about to collide, but the ship had no intention of dodging.

"get out of the way, get out of the way, or you'll bump into me!" The farmer yelled at the boat opposite.

but his roar was of no use, and although he was in a hurry to make way for the waterway, it was too late and the ship hit him hard.

the farmer was enraged, and he snapped, "can you sail a boat? you hit my boat on such a wide river!"

when the farmer looked at the boat angrily, he was surprised to find that the boat was empty.

in most cases, when you censure and roar, your audience may just be an empty ship.

most of the time, things in the world are not as bad as some people think. there are things that are not worth worrying about, but some people are so depressed that they are so depressed that they frown all day long.

in fact, many of life's troubles are self-inflicted.

Life is a hasty journey. Instead of worrying about the past, it is better to grasp the present and live every day in front of you.

the beauty of years lies not only in its inevitable passage, but also in its open-minded and unattached circulation.

in this life, I have struggled, worried and depressed, so I know better that we should let go when it is time to let go.

03

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to be a man, you should be confused.

in life, everyone wants to be a wise man who sees through everything, but does not realize that the highest state of life is actually confusion.

the reason why many people live a painful and tired life is that they want to be smart too much to know the wisdom of "rare confusion".

in the United States, there are two companies of the same size. One of their presidents is Robert and the other is Steve.

Robert is a calculating man who takes a longer-term view than others.

because he had predicted the financial crisis in the United States in 2008, he decided to dissolve the company and save some life for himself and his employees.Fee, otherwise you will be heavily in debt.

because he analyzed that 30% of American companies were going out of business in 2008, and small companies like him must be among those 30%.

Steve is not only not a calculating person, but even gives people a sense of stupidity.

he foolishly believes that the future is always unpredictable, and even if you put the most perfect plan in the world in front of him, he won't believe it, because the future hasn't really come yet.

he feels that as long as his company can survive for a day, he must let it survive. As a result, his company miraculously survived the global financial crisis.

in the end, those who know how to calculate dissolve the company, while those who can't do it make the company more prosperous than before.

this is what people often say is seldom confused.

in fact, life is confused. All happiness and happiness are hidden in confusion. As soon as you wake up, all happiness and happiness will disappear.

when you should be confused, you should be confused. You should not be obsessed with trifles and don't haggle over things. You should know how to choose, advance and retreat, and protect yourself.

who is really smarter than who in the world? When it's time to be confused, you might as well be a little confused.

to be a man, you should be confused when you should be confused.

when you see other people's shortcomings, don't sneer at them.

when you see other people's mistakes, don't be sarcastic.

experience the entanglement of trifles, know how to smile.

the years are getting late, and when my heart is tired, I will understand.

if you want to live a beautiful scenery, why worry that you can't see the bright future?

May you and I both be able to do this, disturb one after another, stop entangling, the world is impermanent, take it calmly!