Adopted daughter to "three avoid", adopted son has "three taboos", early see early benefit!

raising children is a topic that parents care about all their lives.

especially now, many parents want to have their children together and let their children grow up with each other.

but how should the son teach? How should the daughter teach?

Professor Li Meijin proposed that there should be "three avoids" in raising girls and "three taboos" in raising boys.

parents should choose the most suitable way of education for their children according to their children's sex and character.

01

the adopted daughter wants to "avoid three things"

saw a piece of news a few days ago, and she felt sorry for her daughter in the news.

A 22-year-old female college student was sued by her parents for refusing to raise her parents'2-year-old brother.

her parents are low-income families themselves, and it is already very difficult to support themselves, but they have been struggling to have children.

when I finally had a son, I realized that I couldn't afford it, so I threw the burden on my daughter's shoulders.

A 22-year-old girl has just started her own life and already has a "youngest son".

so, knowing that you can't afford it, why do you still beg for a child, dragging down your daughter and bringing down the whole family?

preference for sons over daughters has ruined many daughters' lives.

1. Avoid preference for sons

parents attach too much importance to their sons, or ignore or snub their daughters, which will leave a lifetime of trauma on their daughters.

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what's more, don't instill in your daughter the concept of "raising a daughter at a loss" and "you have to marry off sooner or later" to make her feel that she doesn't belong to this family and doesn't have a sense of security.

A confident girl must be raised by a family that values her daughter.

your daughter is also your child. Raising a child should not be treated differently because of gender. Each is the most precious gift in parents' lives.

2. Avoid overindulgence

now, many parents have become "daughter slaves", giving their daughters boundless doting and tenderness.

they feel that girls are born weak and in need of protection, so their daughters will always hide in the arms of their parents and cannot grow up.

spoil your daughter so much that you even inculcate her with "you are a woman, so don't..." She will never know how to take responsibility.

Don't set a gender framework for your daughters, they can also become brave and independent.

3. Avoid simple affluence

all say that "poor children and rich daughters", give her the best to have a daughter.

in this way, it is possible to connive at her daughter into an arrogant and irritable person.

enriching the spirit is more important than nourishing the material.

when a girl has the love, well-intentioned guidance and understanding of her parents, she has a broader vision and pattern than her peers.

to raise a good daughter, we must first get rid of the shackles and prejudices of this society against women and really understand what she needs.

02

raising children has "three taboos"

went to visit my sister a few days ago, and found that my previously lively and naughty nephew became very silent.

he accidentally fell down because he ran so fast that he was about to cry, but gave his mother a timid look.

his sister said to him, "you are a man. You have to cry for such a small injury. Is it shameful?"

I was very distressed to see my nephew immediately dry his tears and hold back his tears.

many parents have a big misunderstanding about educating boys:

boys should be strong, so they can't cry when they fall down, can't hold them when they're sad, and can't be spoiled when they're sick.

Boys should be rough-bred and tempered, so as not to give him a sense of superiority, let alone spoil him.

but why should boys be rough-raised and girls should be spoiled?

1. Do not take care of

compared with girls, boys are more eager to get the love of their parents, because many times, his feelings are always taken for granted by their parents.

A boy's strength comes not from the deliberate indifference of his parents, but from the abundant sense of security in his heart.

and such sense of security must be obtained from the love and protection of parents.

both boys and girls need parents' love.

2. Do not be independent

however, love is not equal to doting, many parents spoil their son as a "little emperor" and let him hold out his clothes and open his mouth.

Children who are not independent are inseparable from their parents, especially their mothers. If their mothers are not around, they will not be able to adapt.

Let the child do things on his own, let him try to solve the problem first, and give him enough independent space.

3. Parents are accustomed to criticizing and criticizing their sons, which will make them feel unfulfilled and give up their efforts over time.

of course, if even you are greedy for comfort and do not set a positive example for your child, why should you ask your child to make progress?

learn to encourage and educate positively in order to inspire children's determination to make progress and struggle.

to raise a son, we should not only make him feel love and sense of security, but also teach him awe and rules.

03

Education cannot be "double marked"

raising children must be distracted

people often say that boys like to play with guns and girls like to play with dolls, but this is the "love" imposed on children by adults and society.

We don't know what children really like.

you can't copy what others apply to your own children.

to educate a child, we must lose our mind and proceed from the reality of the child.

raising children is actually different.Not big.

if we keep using the "double mark" to educate our children, it will lead to the following result:

our daughter will lack courage because she is loved and protected;

our son will lack love because she is asked to be brave and strong.

one-sided education cannot become a talent. On the way of education, we should be good protectors, companions and guides of our children.

there is a saying in "Poor Dad and Rich Dad": "to be successful is to spend time with your children."

I want to change it: "success is being good at being with children."

the most important thing for parent-child companionship is to understand the heart of the child, to be the child who knows the most about the parents, to know what the child needs most.

put down your phone, concentrate on company, enjoy leisurely time with your children, and seize the fun of growing up together.

only when parents are willing to accompany and are good at companionship, can they better understand their children, maximize their physical and mental development needs, and let their children feel the love of their parents.

for the sake of children's learning and growth, I hope you can forward more articles and highlight them, so as to make more people realize the correct way to raise children.