A messy family can't raise promising children.

some time ago, I saw a public welfare film "Orphanage" in Finland.

tells the story of a brother and sister who went to adopt their parents.

the first group: father is reading, mother is cleaning, occasionally look at each other, the two people smile at each other.

Group 2: parents smiled kindly and asked their children if they wanted to drink juice.

Group 3: the two date warmly under the tree with a stroller at their feet, and the father squats down and looks the child in the eye.

the children smiled brightly when they saw the first three pairs of parents.

when I came to the fourth group, I saw that the room was in a mess, a pile of clothes were scattered on the bed and on the floor, and my parents were blaming each other fiercely.

when the child saw this, his eyes immediately dimmed, very frightened and sad.

at the end of the film, children cannot choose their own parents and can only follow the fourth group of parents to go home.

A family of four is walking on the road, with the parents in front of them, noisy and noisy, regardless of the children who bow their heads behind.

in front of them, the light was all over the sky, but the two children bowed their heads and completely lost their luster.

there is a particularly good saying:

the family environment, parents' words and deeds, will imperceptibly change the character of their children.

if a home is full of chaos and quarrels, it is difficult to raise warm, hardworking, self-disciplined children.

01

families with messy rooms cannot raise hard-working children

as the saying goes, it is not terrible for families to be poor, but it is "dirty and messy".

A home is smaller and poorer, and children can feel warm as long as they are clean and tidy.

but if the house is always messy and parents don't like to clean up, it will make their children develop a lot of bad habits.

not long ago, I was a guest at a friend's house. During the

period, friends poured out their grievances, saying that it was difficult to bring up children.

procrastinate in doing homework, either looking for exercise books or touching things around, and always making excuses that they are bored and unable to write.

people are also very lazy, throwing off dirty clothes and smelly socks everywhere, and never help the family sweep the floor and wash the dishes.

listening to the grievances of my friend, I looked around her house and realized that the child's bad habits were not without reason.

the corner of a friend's living room is full of boxes, large and small;

on the dining table, the bowls and chopsticks are confiscated, and the soup on the table can even be seen dripping to the ground along the edge of the table.

the children's desk is full of toys and books. I can't even find a place to sit down and do my homework.

No place is neat as far as I can see.

Tolstoy once said:

parents are a mirror of their children, and their children's behavior is the reflection of parents.

how can children be industrious if their parents are lazy?

his behavior is only worse than that of his parents, and he doesn't like to clean up, pays no attention to personal hygiene, and procrastinates.

02

A family with untidy rules cannot raise a grateful child

French educator Rousseau once said:

the most sad thing about a family is that parents have no principles, keep giving, give everything, and finally raise ungrateful children.

some time ago, I saw an eye-popping news on the Internet.

A young man in his 20s in Chongqing is lying on the ground splashing and rolling.

the reason is that he asked his father for help to buy a car, but his father refused, so he smashed his father's van and lay on the road again.

in fact, this is not the first time the young man has threatened his father.

at the beginning of the year, the young man wanted to buy a laptop and lay down across the road. at that time, his father gave in.

so this time he did it again.

it is the parents who compromise and spoil the young man again and again that make the young man an unruly, ungrateful wolf.

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similar scenes can often be seen in life:

on the dinner table, the delicious food is placed in front of the child, and the child is still waiting for the parents to pick up food;

on the way to school, the child walks comfortably in front of the child, and the parents or the elderly help carry the schoolbag;

when they go to the mall to see what they like, the child cries and haunts their parents to buy, and the parents usually compromise.

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these things, which seem to be trivial, are actually encouraging the psychology of children as they should be.

if it goes on like this, the child will think that all this should be done.

after that, if he is a little less than he likes, he will resent and blame his parents for not giving more.

parents' best education for their children is not bottomless doting, but love and rules go hand in hand.

set rules for children from an early age, tell them what to do and what not to do, and strictly implement them.

in a regular and well-behaved family, the couple are in harmony, the children are orderly, and the family style is self-correcting, so that the children will know more about love and gratitude.

03

families with messy hearts cannot raise children who are self-disciplined and self-motivated.

there is a good saying:

Children's habits today are actually acquired by imitating their parents' daily words and deeds.

A friend of the head teacher told me about a recent incident in his class.

in their class, a student always secretly read a novel with his mobile phone in class, but did not listen to it several times.

one day, a friend invited the parents of the students to the school and talked about it seriously.

the parents repeatedly promised, "all right, I'll confiscate his cell phone right away."

With that, I'm going to grab the kid's cell phone.

the child is unwilling to give, the mother scolded: "play at home, also play at school, do not study hard, what can be achieved in the future?"

the student cried and excitedly replied, "you and your father watch TV and play with your mobile phone every day. Why do I have to do my homework and not play?" You're not fair! "

after listening to the quarrel between parents and children, it is not difficult to understand why children are always lazy not to study.

the children's current results are actually the fault of their parents.

parents always take great pains to persuade their children to work hard, exercise self-discipline and study hard.

but right next to their children, parents slumped on the sofa, brushing short videos and playing games, how can they expect their children to exercise self-discipline in many temptations?

I was particularly impressed when I saw a picture on the Internet before.

someone asked a woman, "how do you persuade your child to read instead of playing with electronic devices?"

the lady replied, "Children don't listen to us, they imitate us."

what you want your child to be, what you want to be in the first place.

good parents will not always preach, but live well and set a good example.

when parents stand on their feet, their children naturally want to be with you and be what you are.

04

the mother of Wu Yi-Shu, a talented girl from Tsinghua University, once said that it makes sense:

A promising child is never born.

the habits, character and values of children all come from the imperceptible influence of the family.

if you let your child live in a warm and comfortable environment, your child will naturally work hard;

if you raise your child with rules from an early age, your child will be gentle and kind-hearted and grateful when he grows up;

you quit playing and often read books. Children will also take reading as fun.

Yu Minhong said:

if the child has a problem and is not good enough, don't blame the child first.

go to the source and examine yourself whether you are not doing enough.

when parents learn to influence their children by words and deeds, without preaching, their children will naturally grow up straight and excellent.